BUSTED

... if Dooced is getting fired for blogging about your job...what is the equivalent for getting called into the Bishop's office, on your wedding anniversary, for tweeting 140 characters?

Maybe I should give a prize out to someone who comes up with the best label.

Ready.Set.Go.

Is your mind reeling. Perhaps baffled? Mine is. Mostly it's also flummoxed. I like that word... it's fun to say.

Apparently some (I am told it is more than one) people in my ward are offended by my tweets and have ANONYMOUSLY told the Bishop - who asked me to ...in the future, censor myself and instead go speak to him when I'm frustrated.

Does anyone else think our busy Bishop has better things to do?

and Dang... if I really did that... they'd have to dedicate a Bishop just for me. I am female. I have hormones... just ask my hubby.

So here I am... unable to face my accusers... or offendees because it's "confidential".


Well... I've got a tagline for 2011... check it.




ps.

Dude... seriously, if you do not like me or what I say/tweet & have the courage to talk behind my back, in presumably a group setting as there were "more than one", but not to me ...here's a tip. How about you just stop cyber-stalking me? Just a helpful thought. Merci!

Weary

I'm feeling weary.

Another couple facebook "friends" have decided they need to attack my opinions and beliefs. It's frustrating. I suppose facebook creates this weird world... I need to stop thinking that just because I hold their feelings in high esteem - that doesn't mean they feel the same way. I've always forgotten that not everyone thinks the way I do - it always gets me ... down in the dumps disappinted.

I don't understand. Why is it that I am not allowed to have my own opinion? Why is it only "liberals" are allowed to? Why is it that the only ones that choose to respond to articles I post to my own wall on facebook - are folks who know they can't change my mind? So what is the point? I don't go to their spaces to rant and rave my opinions on their walls. I understand they don't feel the same - so I don't. I don't because it's respectful. I accept them for their beliefs - why can't they accept me for mine?

It's like all the commenting I do on YouTube videos. I comment on YES on Prop 8 ones. The ones I agree with. I don't go actively in search of a fight on the no on prop 8 ones. It's like those folks with signs on their lawns. The YES on Prop 8 camp don't actively go around stealing, defacing and assaulting folks that don't agree. Then why does the no on 8 campaign do that?

It seems the ones that hate free speech the most - are the ones that only allow it - if you agree with them. There is no room for dissent. These are the same people that cheer each other on when they break laws - defacing property, illegally stealing signs. Is this supposed to foster more tolerance and kindness, or revulsion?

I'm weary because I would jump to defend any of my so-called "friends" if they were bombarded with attacks. But it seems ... I appropriately named my blog... I'm alone on this.

It would be so much easier for me to be silent. So easy to not offfend one party or another. But I've never been a fan of wishy-washy, fence-sitting, silently offending no one. I don't want to be someone you can't trust. I want to be someone you know squarely where I stand. Trust me, if I didn't have to... I wouldn't raise my voice - but I realize that the situation is dire, it is serious and we only have this chance to get it right. It's not fun placing a big star on your head. It has nothing to do with bravery... I've always got my stomach in knots - because who likes to be singled out and attacked? Who likes to be the "freak" that speaks up?

I'm tired of folks saying that I should support same-sex marriage because it's akin to interacial marriage. This is pattently false - from a gospel point of view. From a gospel point of view homosexuality is immoral. Interacial marriage is not. There I go - being totally un-PC. But I care more about what God thinks than keeping my mouth shut. I think many members of the Church have forgotten this. We have slowly, slid down that slippery slope. We have forgotten who we are.

I'm tired of labels of bigot and homophobe - slapping inflammatory labels on people demonstrates an unwillingness, inability to foster open, honest, heartfelt communication. It shows that people who do this don't care what you have to say - they just don't want you to say it. Frankly, I'm tired of it. It's old. It's something that doesn't take into account that you may not agree with someone - but that doesn't make them evil. We're all people. I may not agree with someone - but that doesn't make them evil. That kind of characterization is childish at best.

I'm tired of people using the argument - "how can Mormon's support Prop 8 - the evangelicals support it and they hate you". So... my actions are dictated by how people think of me? I suppose much of our society and folks... that's how they determine whether they will or won't act on truth. But that doesn't work for me. I believe in a Prophet - I believe in God... marriage wasn't created by goverments... that's not what I believe. The Church is not sending out an edict - God has. The Church is merely protecting, defending what God has already made whole.

This is not just a California issue... it's a national issue. It will hit every state, every home if it doesn't suceed. So... do you want to battle it out now - making sure the fight doesn't come to your door - or do you want to wait until you have to deal with it on your doorstep, in your living room. Trust me... no matter how conservative you think your state is... it's coming.

I'm weary. But I'll keep doing what I'm doing - because we each have to carry torches of light - we can't afford to let it drop thinking someone else will carry it... chances are - you are the last one...and no one will be there to lift it up.

Just one foot in front of another...

I'm a slow learner what with how crabs act in a bucket

In the last little while I have been betrayed by people I thought were decent - thoughtful people. People I'd invested time and energy in because I thought they cared about me the way I cared about them.

I'm the person that seeks out a new person to help acclimate them to the neighborhood/ward. I invite them to activities, introduce/help them to make friends, organize group events and do my best to provide everyone with fun and entertainment.

I'm the one that draws people out - let's them share their stories and feel important. I find it my responsibility to help people feel good about themselves. I guess you could say I know what it's like to be new in a ward...and I don't want people to go through what I have gone through. I'm one of those people that find that it's my responsibility to get out there and get to know people - even if I'm new.

So it's especially hard on me to find out that in the end these people identify how easy it is to abuse my good intentions by simply taking advantage of me. Stupid me for allowing it.

I have a problem with blinders. If you're nice to me I will tolerate most anything you have to say or do...until I wake up. Once I feel betrayed...it's over.

Recently I had a friend that turned out to only call if she wanted something. This "friend" would complain about her husband, her kids, people in the ward/neighborhood and ask me to be company on errands for her. She asked me to babysit for her when I was explosively pregnant - but never returned the favor. It became a HUGE joke that whenever I had a call from her it was only ever to ask for something. I stopped answering the phone - I was totally disappointed and upset about being badly used.

I had another friend who I had also been someone I had sought out to help and do the neighborly thing to help get acclimated to the area/ward. I introduced her to the friend in the paragraph above and it turns out they decided I was easy to use and then screw over in the end.

So what I don't understand is...as I look over my life...I can't remember one instance of a friend seeking me out. I can't remember one boyfriend who I didn't ask out first. It's very hard to think of many activities in the ward I'm in that I've ever been invited to. I'm always inviting and organizing activities... and people love to come...but with the exception of 2 women who occasionally spearhead activities...it's all me.

Not to mention my RS pres has a vendetta against me because she thinks I'm an idiot.

Thinking through this made me wonder. What is it about me that people don't feel a need to reach out to? Why am I cursed to be "alone"? Alone in reaching out ... alone in creating fun GNOs... it's like that quote about leadership ...the loneliness of it all. I didn't ask to be so... Or am I just a really bad judge of character? I treat people the way I want to be treated...so when they treat me like doggy-doo - I figure that's what they want back...the end.

Things like this make my friend SW awesome. I invited her to go to tea with me and my girls. I have done this with many folks in my ward. I paid - like I usually do. It wasn't a big deal - she only ordered tea and scones. It was nothing. The very next day I had this gift bag on my front door. In it was this glorious tea pot with a satchel full of tea. We had talked about how much I love tea and how I want a cute tea pot...and she thoughtfully did something so fabulous for me. It nearly made me cry. I have never once had anyone do something like this for me. I've taken numerous people out to tea and paid for them - and have yet to have them do something like that for me. So to have my friend SW do this... was monumental. It made me realize that there are people out there like me... I found one. It's so nice to be on the receiving end for once.