Choices

I just finished the Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson.

He also wrote Elantris and Warbreaker - both of which I also enjoyed.

I love the way he writes strong women heroines. They remind me of Sydney Bristow and her kick-a ways. I like to think that if I didn't have any real responsibilities I'd be out, kickin-a in the name of truth, justice and general awesomeness.

The first book of the Mistborn trilogy, the heroine Vin basically believes that you can't trust anyone - because they will always break that trust. I related to her. There have been so many people in my life that I have trusted, only to discover that they were never worthy of that trust. So it is a challenge to believe in people. Yet, I have this need to seek out people I can trust...even if I often am disappointed.

There's also this character I liked, Sazed. He's a religious scholar who studies the world's 300-some religions... most of which have died out. He experiences a crippling depression when he finds that he can't logically find a religion that he would believe to be true. Eventually, he learns that belief is more than what is logical. It's about trust, faith, hope... and most importantly, choice.

I'm discovering this is a simple, yet challenging concept. Life has always been about our choices. Choosing a path and then accepting the journey seems so simple. I suppose we just find ourselves distracted by other, seemingly complicated ideas along the way.

I choose my faith. It's a conscious decision. It's not one I made because everything was answered, proved and measured out for me. It's not a choice I made based on coercion - it's a choice I made, because what I believe brings me trust in God, faith, hope, redemption.

I choose my current role in life. I am a wife and mother. I would never walk away from this role I choose, no matter how crazy each day may be. I understand that choosing this role means that I am required to give of myself, daily. It is not easy. But it is what I chose.

I choose my personality. I choose to be an effective, confident woman, with real opinions. I remember what it was like to be a blown by the wind kind of girl in crowds. Too terrified of what other people thought about me to ever voice my own thoughts. I know what it is like to follow the whims of society, and its ever-evolving trends. Been there, done that - I've chosen to follow my own path instead.

With our choices... sometimes when things become difficult, filled with trials and the drudgery of living in this sphere...sometimes the hardest thing to do is to realize that the choice for hope, happiness, faith - is ours. We may wish to be saved, rescued in a blink of an eye, or told what to do - but oftentimes it's about the choice of reaction, attitude...and that's hard.

Life would be a lot easier if the choices were all laid out for us. That's why there are rules, guidelines, commandments - they help us make informed decisions. It's hard enough making a choice... imagine not having any reference in which to make them. Chaos!

There are times I have a difficult time choosing to, or wanting to, react well when the storms of life rage around me. I'm more aware of it now. I recently heard a talk about how the speaker thought it was better to be nice than right. As someone who likes truth, honesty, sincerity... that just totally rubs me the wrong way. Or maybe... I'm reacting the wrong way... I don't know... I'm starting to ramble.

The Mistborn series opened up my eyes a bit more - bringing me awareness that while people may scoff, mock, doubt, or ridicule what I believe, or do, there's power knowing that what I believe is not an unconscious, robotic behavior. I also don't do things because I may earn praise, agreement or adulation, I do it all regardless of public opinion. I do what I do because I choose to - it's my choice, and I own it.


p.s.
Just like the mists in the mistborn trilogy... lately I've had a lot of thoughts regarding choices swirling in my head... reading these three books this past week sort of uncorked it all at once. I am not sure if what I'm feeling, thinking translates through the words I type... but I chose to get it all out before I lose this train of thought.