"You're on your own. And you know what you know and YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go...I'm afraid that some times you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you. All Alone! Whether you'll like it or not, alone will be something you'll be quite a lot...But on you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl...and will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)" Dr. Seuss
mini applesauce spice cupcakes (martha stewart), costco's peppermint bark, Sticky Fingers scones (black current and lemon poppyseed), roast beef avo sandwiches, cucumber mint sandwiches, and strawberries, blueberries and red grapes.
I invited the girls from my daughter, AGG's kindergarten class for a tea party celebrating their two-week Thanksgiving break. The night before when I was cleaning, baking... getting the food ready... my hubby thought I was preparing a tea party for myself and my friends.
He thinks I overdo it when it comes to things for the girls. But I think... if it's not good enough for me... how can it be good enough for the girls? For me... all of this is an expression of love. And... let's be honest... stuff from scratch tastes ...oozes love.
Peach and Raspberry herbal teas, with cucumber lemon water...with strawberry preserves and lemon curd for the scones.
Plus, we're still mourning the closure of the Tea Party Cafe... due to the economy. I'd been taking AGG there since she was 18 months old. Both girls love our spot. So... since my daughters have been weaned on tea parties... AGG was properly thrilled.
I scheduled it during her little sister, DD's preschool. So it would be a party just for AGG. A very, special day.
The first thing all the girls did was bounce on the trampoline we have in our living room. I think we fit about 7 in there. When the ninth guest showed up - we had to abandon the clown car idea and have the tea party.
I forget that at this age other kids aren't as exposed to different foods ... like I've exposed mine to. So it was like... 5 minutes of food/tea and they were off jumping, playing with the giant doll house and shrieking happily.
When 3 year old DD came home... she had her own tea party with all the left over goodies. We had enough to enjoy it all at dinner with Daddy too.
I love that my girls love tea parties.
Next time... for the other kids... I could do lemonade... and maybe pb&j sandwiches.
Want to know what's been roiling around in my head???
I don't crave going back to work. There was always so much internal politics that it totally turned me off. I like to be a part of a true team - and the nature of PR and any field is a bit cutthroat - you're always looking out for number one...and if you aren't - everyone else is. Loyalty comes in short supply.
Internal politics, disloyalty and taking credit that's not due - or not appreciating and recognizing people for their contributions - really peeves me.
I will have to say... the experience has kept me... wary. There are things that come up in social situations, various groups and organizations that require me to tap into that instinct when you know something is up. When you know there's a faction trying to uproot you, oust you - despite the work and effort you've put in... filled with ingratitude...the hairs on my neck stand to prickle.
I've always believed in knowing your value. Don't let anyone short-change you.
I had a manager who knew nothing - zilch about semiconductors. So they recruited me to fill that role at their agency. I brought over a friend of mine who was also brilliant. Together we worked to build a solid semiconductor, EDA and foundry clientele - and throughout that... she took all the credit, used our knowledge and pretty much did nothing, but create a very unhealthy work environment. (You should've seen how mortified we were when she'd bare her cleavage to a room full of EEs... let's just say...no one got much work done that day)
I vowed that with my team - I'd manage them such that they received the praise when they did the work. They got the credit for creativity and dedication. Why would you want to work with anyone who you couldn't trust to back you up? You want a leader who cheers your successes, and elevates you happily. Not one that is so insecure they stomp on you to make them a smidge taller.
That philosophy is still what I practice today. If I make something that's someone else's recipe - you better believe I talk them up. If I learned something from someone, heck yes, I tell people who taught me. I don't believe that life is a competition. I don't. I believe we're happier when we cheer for each other. When we're not jealous of each other, when we know our own worth, and that's enough for us. We don't need to be selfish in our admiration, gratitude and genuine, actionable praise for others. It doesn't diminish our worth to show that joy and energy for others. In fact, I think it makes us brighter.
I am motivated by an environment of trust, loyalty and genuine, actionable gratitude and teamwork. I don't operate on empty words. Why give your all - when your all is inconsequential, easily deleted ... why? Betrayal of any kind cuts so deeply to me that it's the end. The end of any desire to be involved.
And when that happens - you discover how ungrateful and deceptive people can be. And as wary as I am... I am also far too trusting and loyal... until it's ultimately, too late.
I usually work out for two hours each Saturday, but had to cut my Yoga in half so I could rush home to get the girls. So I told my hubby what time they'd have to be decked out all fancy...and he did a great job. All I had to do was fix up the hair, change out some sweat-soaked workout clothes and run to Borders.
I know I'm biased... but with the hair and outfits, it was no competition. They did a story time, handed out fancy jewelry and had an informal fashion show. DD was one of three finalists, based on audience applause...and in the end, she won.
All of the little girls were very reserved when they had to have their turn on the step-stool for the fashion show, even AGG. But little DD got up there and posed for the audience. It cracked me up, surprised me...which is why I only got half a shot of it. She won the coveted book prize.
We had a great time. Although, AGG nearly started to cry ... she wanted to win, of course. Luckily, all the kids were able to get either Fancy Nancy wrapping paper or binoculars. AGG picked the paper, she loves wrapping things.
The girls are back to sleeping together in the same bed. They've taken over the guest room's queen bed. They will occasionally get separated when they can't seem to get to sleep. I love them sleeping together. They are so much happier. I love checking in on them to see how well they sleep...and how similar they are... it's like I had twins - just 2 years and 3 days apart.
Here they are watching the new Tinkerbell movie. This is during a "scary" part. Pillows and hand-holding make it bearable. I am so grateful to have such sweet daughters.
I should've been enjoying a blissful Sunday nap. But I was so fired up I couldn't sleep.
Today started out lovely... we had our Stake Conference - we witnessed a very peaceful transition from our wonderful previous Stake leadership, to our new equally wonderful Stake leadership.
Our former Stake president, President Wood was a great man. I never knew him personally - but always appreciated his kind heart. I will miss President Norman - one of Wood's counselors. He and his wife were two people who demonstrated genuine love and concern. I still remember how President Norman's wife would lift my spirits each Sunday when I was pregnant with my oldest. She is a brilliant ray of sunshine and he is a very good man.
My husband and I were able to renew our temple recommends right before Stake Conference. So we were two of the last people that the other counselor, President Harrison interviewed. He is now the new Stake President. I never knew him, until that interview, and discovering he was our new leader for this stake felt so perfect. In my interview with him there was something about looking into his eyes. It was holy. It actually brought me to tears in the interview. It was like he could see into my soul and he was so loving. I felt my Savior's love through his eyes. And when he asked me after the interview, "how has the Savior blessed you recently?" I lost it and ... probably did a lot of ugly crying. Those questions asked in the interview bring out my fierce testimony of the gospel... it shakes me to my core...because I wish I could place my heart out on the table and show them that yes, yes I do... I do believe and will stand and fight for what I believe on every battlefront, no matter how often I have to do it.
In light of the rabble rousing in the House and Senate seats of our government, I couldn't help but feel how lucky a people we are to have these peaceful transitions. That there is a hallowed trust that peacefully passes from person to person.
We had a couple seventies also speak at the conference. A few things they said totally resonated with me. I have forgotten their names...and will work on finding out what those names were. The first area authority, Elder Tinney (sp?) to speak said this, "God wants our exaltation more than we do." I thought that was so interesting. In light of our trials, our success, our daily lives, nothing surprises God. We are here with our own tailor made earth experience - meant to teach us, to exalt us. The hardest thing for us ... or me, is to not ask "why me?" but ask "what can we learn?"
He also spoke about how meeting with many Bishops and leaders in the So Cal region he asked about the youth. And the constant refrain he heard was "we can't compete with the world." He told us that "We don't compete with the world, the world cannot compete with us." (I like to add the world cannot compete with God) We shouldn't try to compete with the world. Our job is to do our duty, do the things we're supposed to, pray, hold family home evening, read our scriptures, pray often, follow the Prophet, the SIMPLE things... do them with our families and bring the Holy Ghost into our homes, our lives. When we stand in holiness, our homes become holy places and we will not need to compete with the world because, as Elder Jardin said, "holiness is not dull; it is irresistible."
They also strongly advocated more family time, gospel time, in lieu of competition sports, extracurriculars, and other activities that keep the kids running around and the parents frazzled. If we're not taking the time to eat family dinners with each other, play games with each other and be present... we are missing out on what our mission is. In the end, the number of trophies, competitions, applause will not matter. What will matter is how close our children are to their Father in Heaven. What will matter is their knowledge of their mission here on earth. Those other things matter... perhaps to our ego, to peers, to... the world - but they don't matter in the eternal perspective. Like all those PSAs about spending time with family...it really is that simple.
They also spoke about, what is the greatest sin. The greatest sin is a sin against the Holy Ghost. I'd forgotten that. The reason why is that witnesses of the Holy Ghost are absolute, perfect, and the adversary can't imitate, can't duplicate it's truth, nor it's peaceful calm. It is our responsibility to cultivate an environment conducive to this spirit, to share, to witness of it.
I have a great friend, Carrie. She is incredibly accomplished - but she doesn't constantly bring up her past career in every little conversation...like some women are apt to do. I admire her immensely for this. I admire many of the women I surround myself with who understand the value of, and cherish their role within motherhood.
She and I talk of our frustration sometimes that some women don't see the eternal perspective of how important their calling is. We often discuss how in light of the challenges our children, and our children's children will face, we can't be lax when it comes to those simple things. Sure, growing up, we might have experienced some laxness - but this is a different time. We can't afford to not hold FHE. We can't afford to not teach our children lessons from the Book of Mormon. We simply must do all in our power to arm our children for the battles they will have to face. And they will be forced to face the battle head-on. We can't fail them when it comes to character, testimony, faith and knowing who they are.
We've also talked about how we used to look at the pioneers who struggled for survival... and think... we could never do that. And then to hear that they looked on our day in awe. I'm starting to understand that awe. We aren't just battling to survive. We're battling for our souls. There used to be a time where the world was outside our homes... maybe even outside our communities. But with the advancing of our world ... it's in every hand held device, every word from a neighbor, classmate, teacher, grocer...
Carrie's mentioned how she has always felt she had a special mission. Something huge and meaningful to accomplish. She knows that that mission is teaching her children, preparing them, guiding them. I love having a friend like her. I feel that, that mission is mine as well. In a world where nearly everything is replaceable, easily purchased, or simply cut out and remodeled.... this mission of motherhood for each of our children ... this mission, this calling, is irreplaceable.
As a mother I simply can't afford to be insecure about my role. I can't afford to search desperately for self-fulfillment...and to be honest, I am past that, thankfully. I may be insecure about other things, but when it comes to motherhood - I know it's where I belong. I know that it is more important than easy accolades, fame and fawning praise from others. I know I belong here, in my home, fighting the battles that come, arming my daughters with strength...and constantly picking myself up, starting again when I mess up. I believe that letting my daughters see me make mistakes, and pick myself up, shows them that when they make mistakes, they can pick themselves up and brush off the dirt and try again.
Today's meeting a was a vigorous wake up call. A call to remind me, urge me, require me to understand that if I want to be a beacon to my children, if I want to aide them in their life's mission - that I have to be living my life in a way that I can feel, hear, and respond to the whisperings, promptings of the Holy Ghost. I'm understanding how necessary it is to provide a home where that spirit can reside. It's not something that would be nice to have, an accessory - it's something that is required.
I have another friend, M--, who is dealing with her own trials. She and her family have leaned on the promptings of the Holy Ghost. She is one lady I know who invites that spirit into her home on a daily basis. Tonight she told that recently she was hurriedly getting her home in order to escape a potential situation, she felt the spirit tell her "I'll tell you. I'll tell you if you need to go." She listened to that spirit and they had a wonderful day as a family. But she was ready to hear it. She was prepared, because she was doing what she was supposed to do. She's a great example to me of faith and doing the simple things that matter most.
I think about the challenges we all face, will face, have faced. These challenges are the reason why we need the Atonement. We can't do it alone. We aren't able to. We need Him. As we face the challenges, as we travel through them, I now realize, more than ever, how much I need to cultivate that spirit, the spirit that will help me to know the right thing to do, say, to protect us from the challenging transitions of life, and fill us with peace.
I believe we are a lucky people. How lucky to be loved by a God who prepares a way for us. How lucky to have a God who wants our exaltation more than we can understand. How lucky to have a God who loves us, as we are, individually.
AGG: When is my Birthday coming? QS: Not for a long time. AGG: On Thursday? QS: No, a year. AGG: Oh, a year? QS: Yes, twelve months. AGG: Twelve months? Is that a long time? QS: Yep. AGG: So On Sunday? or Friday? QS: Oh for the love.... AGG: Tuesday? Wednesday? Saturday???
....sound of me being carted off to an asylum in a straight jacket...willingly.
Just bought these from Michael's today... AGG is Elphaba... DD is a kitty cat... and I'm this weird firecracker thang. We also love Mac's iPhoto Booth... it never gets old in our house.
Saw this shared on Facebook today... and it is all kinds of wonderful. I couldn't stop smiling, laughing... if I ever had to work...this is the kind of work environment I'm looking for.
I'm sure you've heard the crazy coming out of the White House. You know, the bit where the White House has declared war on FOX News... for doing unacceptable things like, oh... CHECKING FACTS.
White House Communications Director Anita Dunn... has decided that FOX News is not a real news station because it DARED to check facts. Homie say WHAT? Below are some excerpts from this article.
The White House stopped providing guests to "Fox News Sunday" after host Chris Wallace fact-checked controversial assertions made by Tammy Duckworth, assistant secretary of the Department of Veterans Affairs, in August.
Dunn said fact-checking an administration official was "something I've never seen a Sunday show do."
"She criticized 'Fox News Sunday' last week for fact-checking -- fact-checking -- an administration official," Wallace said Sunday. "They didn't say that our fact-checking was wrong. They just said that we had dared to fact-check."
"Let's fact-check Anita Dunn, because last Sunday she said that Fox ignores Republican scandals, and she specifically mentioned the scandal involving Nevada senator John Ensign," Wallace added. "A number of Fox News shows have run stories about Senator Ensign. Anita Dunn's facts were just plain wrong."
Fox News senior vice president Michael Clemente said: "Surprisingly, the White House continues to declare war on a news organization instead of focusing on the critical issues that Americans are concerned about like jobs, health care and two wars. The door remains open and we welcome a discussion about the facts behind the issues."
Let's not get started with how obnoxious it is to see CRAZY women running around like complete idiots, and let's all thank them for undermining the role of women in the public arena. YOU FOOLS. Let's think about how completely idiotic this administration is, how up it's own rear it is in arrogance... let's think about how they can allow a woman, Dunn who ADMIRES Mao Zedong...and said so to a crowd of high schoolers... is certifiably insane and completely unfit for public office in a democratic United States... she belongs in CHINA for the love of Pete. Let's see how much she loves it after she's had a taste of it shall we?
I am WAITING... WAITING for those that keeled over in spasms of orgasmic delight when Obama was elected. WAITING for someone to condemn this behavior. I am thinking it will not come. That they are too busy mortified... or drunk on his juice to admit any wrong-doing. Have we really fallen that far down the rabbit hole that we don't know which side is UP and which side is DOWN? Come on people... use your own BRAINS!
Any semi-functioning brain... like mine can see that these are more symptoms of an administration that is SICK...diseased... completely and utterly clueless in it's desperate, clawing attempts at all-consuming power.
For a guy that ran for office on the trumpets of rising above the fray, reaching across the aisles and ... hope? Geez... remind me what the return policy on Obama is.
Tonight was a Young Women activity night. I left the girls with my hubby expecting them to be asleep or in bed by the time I returned.
Instead I was greeted with two adorable girls running around in just their undies... with giant hugs. I was able to cuddle and tuck them in...it was nice.
Then my husband related how the evening went... and why we should not be popping popcorn at night when the girls are still awake. They follow their nose...and love to snack on popcorn.
Apparently, while I was away our five year old Avant Garde Gal with her three year old sister in tow... barged into our bedroom where my husband, Phantom, was eating popcorn and watching South Park. As soon as they entered the room he paused the TV.
AGG: I want popcorn too. I want to watch that too. Phantom: You can't watch that. AGG: Why not? Phantom: Because it's not good for you. AGG: It's not good for little kids? Phantom: Nope. AGG: Well, if we shouldn't be watching it, then you shouldn't watch it either. Phantom: You know... you're right. (he stopped watching it... )
...when I was pregnant with her...and had a strong impression that she was my mentor in the pre-existence... she just proved me right.
I'm a woman first. I am not defined by my job, my status, my education, my family or friends. I'm who I am...so there.
I'm crazy about my family - and think I have the most precocious, beautiful girls.