Epiphanies

Leah, Kim, SHERI DEW, Queen Scarlett, Shannon, Suzie

This past Fri/Sat I had the pleasure of going to Time Out for Women.

My friend Suzie organized a small group... I've found she is one of a handful of women I am lucky to be living around... that the more I spend time with them, the more I love them. I love women who inspire me, who I admire, and who are genuine. I am very, very blessed.

We celebrated my friend, Kim's birthday on Saturday, who is of that select handful of women that I admire.

I have so much to think about...and so much more to write down. But these past few weeks I've been limiting my Internet time so I can get to the business of living...and learning to be more organized with both kids in school, a large amount of volunteering - and finding a balance with my YW calling...and my more important calling as mother and wife.

So for now... a few thoughts that when spoken at the TOFW conference made my soul expand and jump for joy at the truth that resonated inside my heart.

"Obedience is NOT perfection." (Sheri Dew or Wendy Watson Nelson)

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (quoted by Sheri Dew): “Sometimes we act as though we’re going to stay here on this earth, when we aren’t, we can’t and we won’t.”

“When we focus on the world we don’t see the adversary or the Savior. When we FOCUS on the Savior we love and see Him, and we’re able to see the effects of the adversary and safeguard against him.” - Sheri Dew

Kris Belcher - in response to people telling her "Heavenly Father doesn't give us anything we can't handle" when she had a second bout of cancer that removed the sight of her second eye. Belcher said, "Of course we're given things we can't handle, why else would we have a Savior?"

Kim Nelson - "Be kind to yourself... treat yourself as you would your daughter, or someone else's daughter. Because you are a daughter of God."

"Never Even Once." - Wendy Watson Nelson

Never Even Once will I... take a sip of alcohol, smoke, drink caffeine, wear skimpy clothing, compare myself to others, etc....

Never Even Once will I forget... to get on my knees and pray, turn to the Savior to heal me, remember that He loves me as I am, to hug my children, adore my husband, be gentle to myself, etc...

ps. I was frantically scribbling notes through the two days... so the words may not be precise, but the meaning is there

A Purpose

I just finished teaching a Morningside message today at seminary.

I am back in my pajamas too. See. I am never up this early in the morning.


I'm on day three of a stiff neck (I think it was stress or sleeping funny - stress from watching Fringe right before bed. Maybe I am now part of the patter?) although it's more mobile than day one and day two. I don't know if it's allergies or a cold, but my voice is hoarser and I am tired.

Wanna know what I was talking about today? I addressed adversity, and knowing how powerful each of is, and knowing beforehand what we stand for.

I taught my husband's Sunday School class for kids in 7/8 grade. The lesson was about President John Taylor, third president/prophet of the Church. I used the questions I was was asked when I took a TMA class at BYU. "Do you know how powerful you are?" and "What do you stand for?"

President John Taylor was known for being a "defender of the faith" and a "champion of liberty". I love that. I love his experiences - his living boldly with faith.

That afternoon I received a call from Bonnie, our seminary principal. I've taught seminary before - when I first finished college and was working. I taught my sister the Old Testament. I am a crazy tired grumpy woman without sleep. I think I scared those kids sometimes. So when I heard her tell me she was the seminary principal, I mentally prepared the word NO in my head.

But then she had to pull the "President Norman suggested I contact you since our original speaker will not be in town". First, I love Pres Norman. He is one of the kindest men. Second, he is in our stake presidency, so I am a rules girl - I will go and do what is asked of me.

I don't remember having Morningside when I was in seminary. Apparently it's a fireside in the morning. They do it every month on the last Friday of seminary. After the original speaker, they tried getting President Norman and our Bishop to speak. So I was totally a back-back-back... picking at straws back-up. No pressure.

I was grateful my husband had been sick and needed me to sub for him on Sunday - it was like a run through for Friday. I added a lot of new things, but essentially the message was the same... try to inspire these amazing teens with the knowledge that they have a purpose, that they can overcome adversity and that they are extremely powerful.

I was also grateful that a couple days ago the BYU Magazine came. In it was an Q&A with Randy Bott, and old professor of mine...and anyone that took "Sharing the Gospel" at BYU. I had forgotten his four elements of a sacrament meeting talk. So this was perfect in organizing all my thoughts I hadn't yet nailed down on paper.

Yesterday my girls who never go down for a nap without a fight, were quiet in their rooms long enough for me to finish writing all my thoughts down. They didn't nap, but they were quiet. What a blessing.


Also I wanted bean bags. I called a few stores, none of which carried any. So I called the crafter queen Angela. She said she'd whip some up in 20 min. She did. It was awesome.

Then I realized I needed someone to watch my girls since my hubby goes to work when I was to start teaching. My wonderful friend Brooke had time, and was willing to cut her morning swim short.

My little business card handouts came out great too.



Funny how things work out.

Last night Bonnie called to ask me how I was. She then asked how to introduce me. I told her just my name and ward is fine. I'm a nobody...I like it like that. She suggested that she could mention I was recommended by Pres Norman... I said NO WAY. No pressure. I don't want to puff myself up...don't need it, don't want it. Let the kids learn about me from me.

I think it went okay. I hope the messages came across. I prayed before I went to teach. I am always nervous when I teach. Why? Because I hope that I am a good tool for my Savior. I want the kids to hear what He wants them to, what they need through me. I like to imagine I'm a hollow tube to let His messages flow through me. So I'm nervous because I hope I don't clog up along the way. (har)

It was a good experience for me. I remember how hard school was. How scary it could be. How it felt to be picked on, insecure and feeling alone. But I know how it is to overcome, to let it pass (har)... to look back and be grateful because adversity makes us stronger.

We have great teens in our stake. They are dealing with much more than I ever had to. I"m grateful for the gospel. I'm grateful for the chance to spend a whole week preoccupied with preparing a lesson. It was a nice spiritual place to be. I think the Lord knew I needed a concentrated dose. All my silly challenges this week served in reminding me about adversity. I felt like this week, was very purposeful. Things fell into place.

I apologize if this is at all jumpy... I am never up this early. I so need a nap. Also, how cool is MormonWiki?

Flashback

I've seen a lot of bloggers do FLASHBACK FRIDAYS! (I can't even say it out loud without Jazz hands)

I figure... I finally have some old photos to FLASH you all with... enjoy.


These are a few from my broadcast journalism days at BYU. These are a few of my KBYU/NewsNet crew. I was privileged to be part of the first batch of students to begin and go through the unified newsroom. We had an amazing mentor and friend, Dean Paynter. He always pushed us to be more than a pretty, talking head. It's been wonderful to stay in touch with everyone via facebook.


I remember random things:

Those heavy, black cases that carried those old, wooden tripods for the video camera.


People who wouldn't open the door for you when you were carrying the case and a giant blue, rectangular bag with all the heavy camera equipment. I wish I captured a picture of all that. I think I was barely taller than all that stuff.


Covering the groundbreaking of the LDS conference center.

Mic-ing my interviews.

White balancing.

Doing the KBYU tag. "This is Queen Scarlett, KBYU News."



I totally had a deeper, anchor-gal voice.

Early mornings.

Digging for Truth.

Late, worthwhile, post-mortems.



Editing bay stress, right before air.

Doing the Campus news outside at the HFAC while throngs of other students rush to class.

Skipping other classes to go to downtown Lehi for a news story.


People in the diners totally believe in conspiracy theories.

Wearing shoulder-padded blazers.

The new studio up in the Wilk.


Missing the HFAC tunnel.

Interviewing Chris Cannon and wanting to poke him to see if he'd giggle like the Pillsbury dough boy.


Grilling ...as much as we could, President Bateman in his yearly meeting with us, press kids.

Trying not to use the ellipses (...) when writing for the Daily Universe. I don't try not to use them anymore...I love ellipses.

The awesome music videos Dean would put together for the end of the year graduating seniors.

Putting together audition reels.


Interviewing General Authorities, as the Campus Editor... best thing about that position.

Getting paid to do what I love.

Getting really excited that Elder Eyring at the time, looked me straight in the eye as I was setting up a camera.


Soaking up an education by doing...

Packages, b-roll, script printers, SOT, VOSOT, VO, camera 1, 2... weather.

CCN...those early mornings were cold.

Squirrley teleprompter.

Really bad ad-libbing, anchor banter.

Transitions, lead-in, teasers.

SPJ, NAB trips to Vegas.



Taking that driving course at BYU, so we could take the vans, with our equipment for stories.

Taking TMA....and a make-up course. They used the book by Kevin Aucoin.


Interning at KSL.

Working for Classical 89. I loved radio.

Piper Jaffrey.


Hi-8.

Deadlines.

Frozen yogurt with sliced bananas from the WILK food court.

Having the time of my life.


Do you have a time you love? What do you remember about it?
KBYU/Newsnet Folks - what do you remember?

Peace in Holy Places

Sacramento, California Temple (where K my daughter has a little pebble with her name on it in the foundation)

This morning was my turn to head to the Temple. It's been a while since I've been. I don't know why I hadn't thought of the idea sooner. One Sunday during Relief Society I turned to my friend C, and asked if she wanted to swap babysitting so we could take turns going to the temple during the day. She said yes, and this month was our first go of it.

It ends up being about 3-4 hours of babysitting...and the temple is close to us. When I had her kids the week before it was actually really peaceful and fun...and entertaining... you remember this post.

There's something about the temple that just feels like home to me. I'm a pretty high-energy gal...except when I am sleep-deprived... so to walk into the temple, or for that matter, just driving into the parking lot calms me. I feel like a nicer, more relaxed version of myself... a better version.

Provo, Utah Temple

I was able to work in the Provo Temple as a temple worker my last year at BYU. I've never felt odd going to the temple, I've always felt at peace. I wish I had the time to work consistently in the temple, but I'm grateful that anytime I do go, it reminds me of the time I spent working with the sweetest Grandmas and Grandpas at the Provo Temple. The Provo one might look like an electric carrot, or a birthday cake... but that temple will always be special to me... because I walked it's halls early in the morning.

I sometimes wish we could, just leave the world all behind and walk the temple halls, or sit pondering with our own little families. I want to live at the temple.

Oakland, California Temple - where we were married

Today I felt incredibly strengthened, humbled and grateful. There's something about being allowed in the Lord's house that makes me weep. I was thinking on patience today. I need to practice more patience when it comes to my overly intelligent four-year old. As I sat thinking about this, I realized that my Heavenly Father has infinite patience with me. If he can have that amount of patience for me... I can do better with my own stewardship. They are His children, after all... I will be held accountable if I am not more patient with these precious souls. He will help me.

I was also thinking about the way Hollywood (the world/great and spacious building) looks at us. Those of us that stand on the Lord's side and make a very public stand for family. At the temple I was reminded that fame, the world's wealth, and silver tongues will all be used against the eternal plan. Reflecting on this, I once again was reminded that it matters not if the world, it's courts, etc agree with us. What matters is that the Lord knows where we stand. That when it comes down to it, we let those around us know exactly where we stand when it comes to what is worth protecting. For that, I am grateful that I made a definite mark in the sand and took, and will continue to take a stand. The world is a fickle place. I'm so grateful that when we follow the Lord there is order, there is peace, amidst the trials and sacrifices.

Laie, Hawaii Temple - where my hubby R, proposed

At the temple I was reminded that children are given to us to bring us joy. So much of the day-to-day can be mundane and seem like a tiny grain of sand ... but it is that diligent work to improve and to be better parents, to focus on our children that will endure. I know my husband and I often talk about the challenges of parenting two daughters who are both smarter than both of us, combined. We are constantly worried how our actions affect them. We want to raise them to be strong, faithful, happy and secure women. We often wish that there was a step-by-step book to tell us what to do in every situation.

What we have settled on... until someone publishes that desperately needed book ... is to remember the big picture. Will silly annoyances really affect their eternal welfare... or do we just need to chill out? (yes, we often need to chill out)

I also sat in the temple thinking about Trust. I realized that I am starting to understand the extent of the trust I place in my Heavenly Father. That I trust in his love, patience and blessings. I realize that as imperfect beings, we often can corrupt the trust placed in us, by our own children. I hope I remember to work hard each day to earn my girls' trust. I realized that each day, it is my job to earn their respect, earn their love and demonstrate to them that they matter more to me than praise from people outside my home. For some reason, putting the burden of responsibility back on myself... makes things clearer for me.

Nauvoo, Illinois Temple - a temple that is simply gorgeous...and something to drive to in the middle of the night when you and your hubby can't sleep in St. Louis.

I also thought about sacrifice and equality. I often like to go on a rampage when I see women mistreated. I am so overly concerned about gender equality sometimes that I try to make things equal between me and my hunny. When... there is no need to. He's happy to see me do whatever I want. As I sat there in the temple I realized... sacrifice is not about equality (by now you know I'm a slow learner...). Sacrifice is about putting the other person first. I am guilty of not doing more, when I know I should. I have been too worried about a 50/50 split of responsibilities that I've forgotten what it means to serve the one I love. Sitting there I realized I need to redouble my efforts for my hubby. My sweet man who slays dragons for me.

As I walked out of the temple I thought again about patience. I have always loved how in the temple, we are all so quiet. I thought about how I was never in a hurry. I thought about how it didn't bother me when we had to wait for one more person to join us in the room. How it didn't bother me that I had to wait my turn. If I can have that kind of patience in the Lord's home - maybe I ought to make it so in my own. I suppose that's why they tell us to return often to the temple. So we can be reminded of what our heaven on earth ought to look like, and feel like.

Doors of the Sacramento Temple

There's nothing I love more than the spirit of the temple. To think an imperfect soul such as I, am allowed entrance to feel such joyful peace. It just proves once again, in so many ways, that God loves me as I am. I am so grateful to His eternal plan. I am grateful that with the atonement we can and we should always look to improve... grow, change. I am so grateful to have my own little family. I am so grateful to be a wife, companion and helpmeet. I am so pleased to have the chance to learn motherhood from two brilliant little tutors...my amazing daughters.

ps. Sorry for the topic jumping... needed to get all the thoughts out of my head before they fell out and I forgot all that I felt and leaned, remembered... sorry for editing mishaps...meaning I haven't the energy to edit.

Twilight Friday

My friend Carrie had told me about this fantastic chocolate boutique, Ginger Elizabeth, in midtown Sac. So we decided we'd make the drive just to get some hot chocolate and treats before the movie. I am glad I went. Carrie is one of my friends who appreciates gourmet food. She's a premiere cook in my book.

If you go - try the Oaxacan Spicy Hot Chocolate... it's not spicy - but the flavors play a little music on your tongue. They also make marshmallows from scratch for the hot chocolate... holy heaven!

Carrie highly recommended the Parisian Macarons...please tell me they have these in the next life. I also purchased a box of 12 chocolates to share with my hubby... I love that there are chocolates with lychee in them... I love lychee. I love savoring good quality chocolates.



Below you'll see some of their exquisite cakes. The Café Cremeux is supposed to be one of the best... but since they have it all the time...I took home the Fall Dessert below, right. It has pumpkin mousse, bittersweet chocolate cream, salty caramel sauce, and a chocolate graham cracker crust. Vampires have their blood lust... I have gourmet food-chocolate lust.



Then we were off to the movie...I had my hubby meet me at the theater so he wouldn't have to wait...

Sally must've said something funny... that's why I'm laughing like a hyena.

My lovely friend Sally and her hubby Chuck. Sally is someone who is a kindred spirit. She is one of the people in my life that I am forever grateful for. Plus, she is sassy ...I love that we can talk about anything, and everything. The two of them love to ride motorcycles. They do awesome trips all the time and ... she made him take her to Forks, Washington... that's what it says on her sweatshirt. They are awesome people. I keep asking activities people in our ward to make him Santa... but nobody listens to me...shocker. ;-)

Julie, Carrie, Jaime, Teri and Kathy

These are a few of the ladies from the book group I'm in. They are awesome. I love women like them. Wise, smart, funny, sassy and real. I relate to women like them who know what's important and don't fuss with the silly, shallow world. Centered women inspire me.

I went into the movie with very low expectations. I was one of those Harry Potter readers who didn't like the movies. I was pleasantly surprised... there were a lot of funny things I laughed at... some meant to be funny, others, accidentally funny.

My favorite scene was Edward's reaction to Bella on her first day in Biology. I didn't like the way they did Edward showing Bella why vampires can't go out in the sun. It was nothing like I had hoped... given that scene was what spawned the series. The actress that played Bella was overacting in parts.. but Bella was always sort of whiny and moody...

I was very surprised by the actor playing Edward. I'm curious how they're going to bulk up the little guy playing Jacob. They're going to need quite a makeover. Poor Jasper didn't get any explanation as to why he always looks constipated. I love the characer and the gal that plays Alice.

The gal that played Esme didn't do as awful I anticipated. I couldn't stand her character on Grey's Anatomy.

That's all that I can think of right now... my memory is short. What did you think/remember?

Yes, I was the one "shushing" the crazy teens/moms who coudn't resist to act like twitterpated crazies.

ps. I'm so excited for Coraline the movie.

Seven Years

Seven years of head-over-heels, hard work, humor, fights, forgiveness, joy, apologies, friendship and love. Four of those years filled with beautiful girls. Two of those years with us just beginning to learn the map of our bodies, hearts and minds... and this journey is just the beginning.

Happy Seventh Anniversary hunny bunny... I love you. Thank you for being the kind of man who lets me genuinely be me.

We're celebrating tonight with a dance party at our house the Kapalua Club for our girls' birthdays. Our own personal celebration will be later this month ...stay tuned.

Truth

I like cars. I'm not a girl grease monkey....I can't tell the difference between cars... I think white cars, neutral tones are boring. I like bold colors.

I like nice cars... I like fast cars. I like when I can zip off at a light and beat everyone, with a roar of an engine. I feel hawt when that happens. Silly - but hey... as a Mommy... this is like a mini vacation each time. I like nimble cars. So I can switch lanes quickly and efficiently. I'm a very conscious driver on the road - I won't get in your way...so stay out of mine.

I've always liked the windows down and the music up... so when it's just me going to kick-box class, a hair appt, or shopping... you hear that? Yeah, that's me... I'm loud.

The Well of Lost Plots

by Jasper Fforde. This guy is fascinating. I'd love to walk around inside his head.

Though I liked books 1 and 2 books better - the third one The Well of Lost Plots had a part that I couldn't get out of my head. The excerpt below is from page 48. It's where the officer Thursday Next is introduced to the Well of Lost Plots in the book world, by Snell a Jurisfiction officer.

"You Outlanders! Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head...

"Well," I sighed, trying to get my head around this idea. I had always thought novels were just, well, written."

"Write is only the word we use to describe the recording process," replied Snell as we walked along. "The well of Lost Plots is where we interface the writer's imagination with the characters and plots so that it will make sense in the reader's mind. After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the write--perhaps more."

This was a new approach; I mulled the idea around in my head.

"Really?" I replied, slightly doubtfully.

"Of course!" Snell laughed. "Surf pounding the shingle wouldn't mean diddly unless you'd seen the waves cascade onto the foreshore, or felt the breakers tremble the beach beneath your feet, now would it?"

"I suppose not."

"Books"--Snell smiled--"are a kind of magic."

I love that... "books are a kind of magic." I totally agree. I love the... what I imagine is the author "winking" at his readers. Clever, witty, funny... imaginative guy.

SYTYCD

Loved the dances that were done again - everything felt light and beautiful.

Fun to see Mary and Nigel dance - you'll never see Simon sing on AI. That's why I love this show.

I absolutely adore Joshua and Katee. Gev I want to pinch like I pinch my baby's chub. Mark is freaky in a totally entertaining way. Will and Katee together is like watching perfection and art.

Twitch is fun. I loved seeing Dominic, Ryan and Hok. I wish we could've seen all the winners of SYTYCD. They gave far too little time to people from the past...and were missing a lot of people I'd like to know about.

What is the deal with the Jonas Brothers? Anyone? I.DON'T.GET.IT. They are awful. Why do tweens have such bad taste?

I wasn't happy that the arrogant popper was trumpted as the winner of the popping contest. Mia was the only judge I agreed with on that particular decision.

I like Lil'C's commentaries. I miss Shane Sparks. What happened to Dan?

Wade is a magician... a crazy, freaky, can't take my eyes off his creations magician. I want to see his show in Vegas.

Nigel always talks about how this show is legitimizing or highlighting dance for the world. Well - then put your money where your mouth is Nigel - 50 grand? 250 grand... really... that's PIDDLY compared to what you're making on this show and only continues the disparity between singers and dancers. Enough with the... "well that's a dancer's life" ... if you really want to make it change... show us.

*sigh* I'm going to miss my dance fix. Seriously... this show is far more entertaining, talented than any AI show.

Aloha

Me, Kirsten, Kehau and up front - Jayla.

So, I think July or August it will have been a year since my neighbors and I started taking hula lessons from the fabulous Kehau. Hula is one of the dance forms I want to cross off my life list. (I still need to cross off belly dancing and pole and maybe add hip hop and contemp) I have never ever performed hula in public. My kids and hubby haven't even seen me do it. So when Kehaux mentioned in class last night that she was performing at the Senior Center and invited anyone to go... the gals said I should go...even though I have two little ones.

Katherine told me to just bring a towel or blanket for them to sit on ...and it was brilliant. Debbie's daughter Jayla was there ...and she is fantastic with kids. Most of the other Hula ladies had work so... it was just a small group. I'm the least experienced of the bunch. It was fun. I was so nervous last night and this morning...and there was one part I could see my hands shaking...

Me and my future hula girls.

What I loved most was feeling the music. Kehaux teaches us the words, meanings and emotion of the songs and movements. It's fun to be lost in dance. Dance... truly makes me happy.

ps. I had one of the senior citzen ladies take the picture of our group with my iphone... that's why it's a little bit blurry. I think I'll blame that for how white I look.

Why I love SYTYCD

I love the hip hop, contemp, poppers... and this guy... this guy was SICK! I'm also practicing my stank face for the rest of the season. Mia is teaching me jargon.



ps. It was fun seeing Dominic, Hawk, Travis... it was like a reunion. Love the other hip hop guys that made it through.

Fabulous Finales

I wish I could do the LOST sound effect right now... BOOM! There's a reason why I love this show. I love the characters. They become so familiar and so real that you're invested in what happens to them. The writers and actors are pulling their weight, baby. (I have to thank my brother for making me watch the first episode of the series when it started way back when... best recommendation ever)

I had a rush of girl power when Sun approached her corrupt father and announced she had taken control of his company. No matter what generation...men are known for underestimating women.

I love Sawyer and his nicknames. The Genghis one cracked me up. I'm wishing Thursday was a lot closer right now.


The Office... love the way Dwight set up the new HR gal with his information about Kevin. Every time Kevin did anything I laughed.

Is it me or ... were you hoping Michael would finally have a little happiness? He's a tragic...and tragically funny character. But like any good story... characters must be tortured.

Pam and Jim are too cute... I love them. I can totally empathize with Pam... but see why Jim didn't go through with it anyway. *sigh* The writers have to keep us guessing and create tension... no one is allowed a free, happy ending.

And I totally agreed when they said that Ryan was arrested for that beard. Amen.

Do you think Angela just said yes to mess with Dwight a little more? I think it worked... poor Phyllis.

AND....

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE???

This coming Thursday... 2 hour premiere Jidges and all... better than any American Idol... 'nuff said.

Hula Wednesdays

We go out for dinner every few months after our Hula class... last night it was to celebrate upcoming Mother's day...

The food was ono and company always like an ohana. I love living Aloha.

ps. nice to have a little asian crew in our little stepford suburbia - when we have potlucks...the food is divine.