Love Science

My 6YO is currently learning about the rain forest. She is responsible for putting together a project showing the forest floor after spring break. Given we had two weeks for spring break, (this week is our last) I thought it would be a perfect time to head to the California Academy of Sciences Museum. 


The museum renovations are beautiful. Golden Gate park is a place I want to spend days just lazing about, walking and enjoying the tranquility there.

 

the roof of the museum

One of my friends, Frances, from my middle school/high school days designed two of the pedestrian walkways in the museum. I am so proud of her, and thrilled that I was able to walk on something she created. I have many fond memories of sleep overs, roasting gummi bears over candles, and hanging at the club. We never did burn down anything.

this is a flying snake...yes, you heard that right, a flying snake. 

I am never going to a real rain forest.

If you go - buy your tickets online. I used a code I found in my AAA magazine (code: 900102) to get discounted tickets. The code is valid until May 29 for up to 4 tickets per purchase. I also printed my tickets out beforehand. I like to be prepared.

It's best to arrive as close to the opening of the museum as possible. In this case, M-F it opens at 9:30am. The first thing we did was head straight to the tickets for the planetarium. Tickets are free, but you need one to be able to attend a show. Shows are on the half hour. Kids have to be four or older. My 6YO loved it. She's loved planets since she was 18 months, and could tell you in any order which planet was in which spot. So she was, quite literally in heaven. My 4YO was a little nervous. In fact, at one point in the movie it had us traveling from the depths of the darkest ocean back to land, my 4YO said, "oh phew, we're back on land." 

Entering the forest floor!

After that we headed straight to the rain forest. It's housed in a giant dome, keeping it properly humid for a real rain forest. The ramp you walk on takes you in a circular path so you experience all the levels of the rain forest: forest floor, understory, canopy, and emergent layer. Yes, I had to ask my 6YO what the levels are... because I couldn't remember, and learned about them from her.

I loved how the birds flew freely around in the canopy layers, and the butterflies just flitting this way and that around our heads.

As you travel through the levels of the rain forest you find different creatures that reside there, and information about their habitats, eating preferences, and enjoy the fascinating oddities found in the rain forest.

 I can't remember what the name of the spider is - but there's a face on that spider. 

Dude, I'm not kidding. It is creepy. Do you see the blue-ish face? It's there I swear.

After the rain forest we headed to the aquarium and the California Coast. We enjoyed the anaconda and the accompanying hole where you can stick your arm in to simulate what it would feel like if an anaconda got a hold of your arm and squeezed it for 11 seconds. I have a feeling a real anaconda would not let go after 11 seconds.

The docents are around all over the museum with fascinating information and exhibits to touch. Apparently, my 4YO wanted to see if the snake skin left a smell.

There were also eels. You know, Ursula's buddies? They had a palm panel next to the eels that would give you a slight shock, simulating if Flotsam and Jetsom did Ursula's bidding. It was getting close to lunch time so we headed upstairs to see the white crocodile, the penguins, the water show and adorable, fluffy chickens. There were still so many interactive exhibits we didn't get a chance to experience. I would have liked to spend a few more hours there, but lunch was calling, and I wanted to leave San Francisco by two, so we could avoid traffic coming home.

We loved the museum. It's beautiful, clean, the docents are helpful, and my girls enjoyed it. My 6YO who is naturally inquisitive felt right at home and was so tickled by everything she saw. My 4YO will probably be more excited in a year or two. She has a bit less stamina than her big sister, so leaving at two was just about her limit.

If you live relatively close to SF - you've got to see it. We tried visiting the museum three years ago, instead my little one fell into a Japanese koi pond. I am so happy we finally made the visit. If you're in the area - definitely put it on your must see list.

6YO was willing to touch the snake.

When asked what their favorite part of the museum was:
6YO - The planetarium
4YO - The butterflies


On our way home.
4YO: Are we still in San Francisco world? How many minutes until we're in our world? 


She also calls it "grandma's world" when we go to the bay area to visit.

In the center of the museum there's this beautiful atrium with a water show for the kids, 

lectures and hatching chickens.

I bought the girls some astronaut ice cream from the Museum store because, it reminded of me when I was in eighth grade and we went to the Smithsonian for our East Coast trip. I bought astronaut ice cream then too. I also bought a "LOVE Science" shirt for both of them. I'm hoping that their inquisitive minds, and love of science becomes a lifelong pursuit.

The incredible, edible egg... 

By the way, what are you doing on Friday?

I'll be posting "Friday: A Family Lives Here". 

Will you join me?

Here's the button.

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Here are some previous posts. I hope you join in on my weekly carnival. I love visiting and discovering what you're all doing as you gather evidence in your own homes.
 

ps. I kept forgetting to ask someone to snap a shot with all of us... alas...will have to do so next visit!

Happiness Project:: Post 5

Pumpkin flower

Two weeks ago I had the chance to join my 4YO on her preschool field trip to the pumpkin patch farm. This farm we've been to at least three times now, so I figured I wouldn't learn anything new. Luckily, I was proven wrong, quite happily.

Do you know how to tell the difference between a male and female pumpkin flower? I didn't. I was so excited to learn the difference.

Pumpkin flower

Turns out the top photo is a male. The bottom photo - where you can see the round bulge of a baby pumpkin below the flower - is a female. Seriously, how cute is that? Momma flower has a cute baby bump.

The bees fly into the male flower, gather the pollen and then fertilize the female flower. It's just so beautiful to me. If, the female flower isn't producing, you can do some in-vitro for the pumpkin flowers. You take a fine, good quality paint brush and gently gather some pollen from the male flower, and then open up the female flower and swirl around the pollen.

I can't get over how cool this is.

Last time at the farm we learned about lanolin from wool - this time we also learned about how similar human organs are to pigs. Apparently we're more similar to them than monkeys. Transplanted organs usually come from pigs for us. Also - whatever we eat, they can eat... even bacon. With the way I keep house on some days... I'm much more closely related in a slovenly fashion than I realized.

Learning...always, keeps me happy.

Mr. Grasshopper

We have a little resident in my organic basil plant (from Costco...I love Costco). Hello Mr. Grasshopper.

I can't believe how well this basil plant is doing... given most plants come to my house to wither away and die. Also... often I have to wait for the bees to stop gathering nectar before I can gather some basil for dinner. I'd like to say it's because I'm very in-tune with nature...but it's because I'm a big chicken and I don't want to get stung again. (I was stung on a 4th year hike when I was a teen at Girls Camp...IN.MY.EAR. I had to yank that sucker out of my ear...so gross)

Hopper's self-portrait

This is Edward Hopper - when he was a kid he was extremely tall. So he was nicknamed "grasshopper". Hopper is the artist my first grader is learning about this month as part of the parent-volunteer art program for the entire elementary school. I love this program. It's self-funded through fund-raisers. The kids all learn a different track of artists each year. Last year I volunteered in the kindergarten class and felt like I was getting a chance to do the art I never really did as a kid. With each lesson we learn about the artist's life and do a project to reinforce the art from each specific artist. The kids have a blast.




This is Edward Hopper's "The Long Leg". He loved boats. His paintings often evoke solitude. He was a very solitary, lonely, quiet man.

From Hoping to Doing: TOFW Friday Night

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul--We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. (13th article of faith)

Wish this wood installation was hanging in my home. Instead it hangs in the Sacramento Convention Center.

Last year at Time Out for Women (TOFW) I was so inspired (post one and post two)and so grateful that I wanted to give something back to the speakers. Unfortunately I didn't have the foresight back then. So I committed that this year I would go prepared with treats for the speakers. Making food for people is one of the ways I share my love and appreciation.

My friend the Greek Goddess (center) flew up from LA to visit and attend TOFW with me!

So... I made cake pops - pumpkin cake pops for each of the presenters.


Like last year, I was inspired, moved and pumped up to continue to keep my heart full of hope and to work step-by-step to accomplish those hopes.



Friday night at TOFW always includes powerful, entertaining speakers and performers....

QS, Jenny Oaks Baker (center) and Greek Goddess

I had the pleasure of attending TOFW last year and Jenny Oaks Baker, a masterful vioilinist, adorable pixie and loving mother entertained us, moved us with her music, and regaled us with her humorous stories.

This year she said:

We never know how our weaknesses and imperfections can help someone.

Don't shy away from difficult things - just means we need to turn to God.

Ardeth Kapp and QS (see the cake pop?)

Ardeth Kapp was one of the most influential General Young Women Presidents - she is a woman of grace, and when you're around her you can feel her love. She radiates truth, goodness and joy.

At TOFW she said one woman is helpful, 10 women are influential, 100 women are powerful and 1000 women are invincible. Righteous women have incredible influence - we have a noble calling.

Sister Kapp also referenced Elder Ballard's inspired talk Women of Righteousness, specifically this quote:

More than ever before we need women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity, as the Relief Society declaration proclaims. We need women who can hear and who will respond to the voice of the Lord, women who at all costs will defend and protect the family. We don’t need women who want to be like men, sound like men, dress like men, drive like some men drive, or act like men. We do need women who rejoice in their womanhood and have a spiritual confirmation of their identity, their value, and their eternal destiny. Above all, we need women who will stand up for truth and righteousness and decry evil at every turn and simply say, “Lord, here am I, send me.”

I also love how Kapp said, "Hope is reflected in our vision of the future. ...It is never foolish to hope. ...Look forward with hope and optimism."

I loved hearing what she said about hope, optimism and the vision of the future. I don't get jealous. I don't see the point of it anymore. I used to, as a kid, a teen... I've just learned little-by-little over many years how to overcome that weak trait. After listening to Kapp I realized it's because of my hope, that I often think is a bit of naiveté. When I see other people have opportunities to travel or live abroad - I don't find any envy or bitterness in my heart. In fact, I get really excited for them, and can't wait to learn about experiences. I feel that way because I have that hope that one day, some day in the future, that that will happen for me. Hope is powerful. It brings joy, peace and anticipated excitement for each new day.

Kapp was giving her talk and lost her place for a moment. She was adorable as she said, "I have a photographic memory, but not the same day delivery." heheheheh She is the type of lady I would hope to be like one day. Full of joy, faith and a perfect brightness of hope. She has never been able to have children of her own. When she was first married people asked her if she had any children and her response was "not yet." Now that she's in her golden, elegant years, people still ask if she has children, her answer is still "not yet". I have to say, with the years of service and creating the YW program and the inspired theme - she has children... wonderful young women who have grown into righteous women and mothers.

Kapp also shared how important it is to include constant prayer in our lives. We need to be on guard. We are refined, strengthened and sanctified daily in our trials. "Hope is a catalyst for change and repentance."

Kapp quoted Elder Todd Christofferson:
"In times of distress let your covenants be paramount and let your obedience be exact."

Kapp also quoted Pres David O. Mckay about our influence:

As individuals, we must think nobler thoughts. We must not encourage base thoughts nor low aspirations. If we do, we shall radiate them to others. If we think noble thoughts, if we encourage and cherish noble aspirations, there will be that radiation when we meet people, especially when we associate with them.

Every man, every person radiates what he or she is. Every person is a recipient of radiation. The Savior was conscious of this fact. Whenever he came into the presence of an individual, he sensed that radiation, whether it was the woman of Samaria with her past life; whether it was the woman who was to be stoned, or the men who were to stone her; whether it was the statesman, Nicodemus, or one of the lepers. Christ was ever conscious of the radiation from the individual, and, to a degree, so are you, and so am I. It is what we are and what we radiate that affects the people around us.

As it is true of the individual so it is true of the home. Our homes radiate what we are, and that radiation comes from what we say and how we act in the home. No member of this Church, no husband or father, has the right to utter an oath in his home, or ever to express a cross word to his wife or to his children. By your ordination and your responsibility, you cannot do it as a man who holds the priesthood and be true to the spirit within you. You contribute to an ideal home by your character, controlling your passion, your temper, guarding your speech, because those things will make your home what it is, and what it will radiate to the neighborhood. You do what you can to produce peace and harmony, no matter what you may suffer.

One more note about Kapp. When my sister was a young woman, she attended a conference where Kapp spoke. After the conference my sister talked to her and post-conference my sister corresponded with Kapp via post. I always found that story incredible, that a woman as busy as Kapp was, would take the time to share her precious time and love with a young woman. As I'm working on this blog post, I checked my email to find a sweet email from her. Naturally, reading her sweet words, I could feel her radiating her love. I am in tears. She expressed gratitude to me. Me?! I hope I can be like her one day...it will take many, many steps to reach her ability and wisdom...but I'll keep hoping. I love her because despite the trials and challenges she has encountered in her life, it is so obvious that she is a happy person.

John Bytheway and QS (now it's a game, find the cake pop...)

Growing up my Mom bought tons of John Bytheway audio tapes of his talks. We found events he spoke at in the Bay Area and traveled to them just to hear him speak. He was single for a long while before he met and fell in love with Kim. As fans we followed him through his journey, and he shared humorous, wise insight along the way for us.

When my hubby and I were dating and first married we both listened to his talks. In fact, I purchased John Bytheway's What We'd Wish We Knew When We Were Newlyweds book.

In the book he talks about how he and his wife come up with a nonsensical word, "sternfalter" to be the final truth word when it came to expressing their feelings and actions. For my husband and myself, we'd have issues making decisions. We'd go out to dinner and both wanted to let the other person choose, we cared more about the other's preference than our own... with "sternfalter" we were able to assess truthfully how we really felt. Silly, but effective.

Bytheway began his talk with a quote from Sister Patricia Holland:

"If I were Satan and wanted to destroy a society, I think I would stage a full blown blitz on its women. I would keep them so distraught and distracted that they would never find the calming strength and serenity for which their sex has always been known. He has effectively done that, catching us in the crunch of trying to be superhuman instead of realistically striving to reach our individual purpose and unique God-given potential within such diversity. He tauntingly teases us that if we don't have it all- fame, fortune, families, and fun- and have it every minute all the time, we have been short changed; we are second class citizens in the race of life. You'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to get these messages in today's world, and as a sex we are struggling, and our society struggles. Drugs, teenage pregnancies, divorce, family violence, and suicide are some of the every-increasing side effects of our collective life in the express lane."

Bytheway also shared Alma 29:14, 16 - How do we react when others do well?

14-But I do not joy in my own success, but my joy is more full because of the success of my brethren, who have been up to the land of Nephi.

16-Now, when I think of the success of these my brethren my soul is carried away, even to the separation of it from the body, as it were, so great is my joy.

This is now one of my fav scriptures. I totally agree with what Alma has to say.

Find someone who knows how to be content. -Smurthwaite

Let our spirit take the Lead. - Wendy Watson Nelson

Sin makes you stupid and it costs a lot too. - Sheri Dew

Bytheway challenge:
-for five days pray for the Holy Ghost to be with you
- throughout the day in the midst of anything difficult, pray for the spirit to be with you

Having the gift of the Holy Ghost trumps any Internet filter. - John Bytheway

Tell yourself, "I think I'll be delightful today..." - John Bytheway

Usually marriages go through the appreciate/expect/demand stages.
Let us oft speak kind words to each other.

"Never let our spouse, kids wonder what it would be like for us to say kind things about them." - John Bytheway

"Valuable diamonds shine vastly brighter against a dark background." Pres James E. Faust to the youth

"When we trust Him, our questions change." John Bytheway

That was the first day... and it was marvelous. Plus, I got to host my sweet friend the Greek Goddess and her delicious son at my home this past weekend. I should also mention, I returned home to find my house sparkling like a palace. My heroic husband detailed the house while taking care of my girls (who missed me...yay!) and cleaning up the backyard... all in the space of only six hours. I love that man.

How Will You Measure Your Life?

image from http://www.gifted.uconn.edu/nviews/nvaw0510.html

Today on facebook I read an article shared by someone I knew back in high school, Mark. He's a genius. I could study for a thousand years and still not be able to have all his deep intelligence.

He shared this article, by Clayton M. Christensen from the Harvard Business Review.

image from microsoft.com

I read it. As I was reading it I couldn't help but wonder. Is Christensen a Mormon? So I did a quick search on wikipedia and pulled up his page. (Dude... his son is an Taiwan return missionary... yahoo!) My hunch proved correct.

Dude...yeah, he's a Mormon. Sweeeeeeeet!

image from snhu.edu

The reason why I felt he was, as I read his inspirational talk was his simple premise that what matters is family. What matters isn't the status, riches, adulation we receive. What matters are the relationships we have with our children, our spouse...and how we hopefully influence people for good.

This simple principle is something we're taught from birth, especially if you were raised in the Church. It's something we work at mastering... sometimes feebly. We believe that we are sent here to earth to learn, to grow, to improve...to become like Him.

Hope you all have a purposeful weekend. Seriously, read the article - it is a joy to read.


ps. Find more Mormons here.

Choices

I just finished the Mistborn trilogy by Brandon Sanderson.

He also wrote Elantris and Warbreaker - both of which I also enjoyed.

I love the way he writes strong women heroines. They remind me of Sydney Bristow and her kick-a ways. I like to think that if I didn't have any real responsibilities I'd be out, kickin-a in the name of truth, justice and general awesomeness.

The first book of the Mistborn trilogy, the heroine Vin basically believes that you can't trust anyone - because they will always break that trust. I related to her. There have been so many people in my life that I have trusted, only to discover that they were never worthy of that trust. So it is a challenge to believe in people. Yet, I have this need to seek out people I can trust...even if I often am disappointed.

There's also this character I liked, Sazed. He's a religious scholar who studies the world's 300-some religions... most of which have died out. He experiences a crippling depression when he finds that he can't logically find a religion that he would believe to be true. Eventually, he learns that belief is more than what is logical. It's about trust, faith, hope... and most importantly, choice.

I'm discovering this is a simple, yet challenging concept. Life has always been about our choices. Choosing a path and then accepting the journey seems so simple. I suppose we just find ourselves distracted by other, seemingly complicated ideas along the way.

I choose my faith. It's a conscious decision. It's not one I made because everything was answered, proved and measured out for me. It's not a choice I made based on coercion - it's a choice I made, because what I believe brings me trust in God, faith, hope, redemption.

I choose my current role in life. I am a wife and mother. I would never walk away from this role I choose, no matter how crazy each day may be. I understand that choosing this role means that I am required to give of myself, daily. It is not easy. But it is what I chose.

I choose my personality. I choose to be an effective, confident woman, with real opinions. I remember what it was like to be a blown by the wind kind of girl in crowds. Too terrified of what other people thought about me to ever voice my own thoughts. I know what it is like to follow the whims of society, and its ever-evolving trends. Been there, done that - I've chosen to follow my own path instead.

With our choices... sometimes when things become difficult, filled with trials and the drudgery of living in this sphere...sometimes the hardest thing to do is to realize that the choice for hope, happiness, faith - is ours. We may wish to be saved, rescued in a blink of an eye, or told what to do - but oftentimes it's about the choice of reaction, attitude...and that's hard.

Life would be a lot easier if the choices were all laid out for us. That's why there are rules, guidelines, commandments - they help us make informed decisions. It's hard enough making a choice... imagine not having any reference in which to make them. Chaos!

There are times I have a difficult time choosing to, or wanting to, react well when the storms of life rage around me. I'm more aware of it now. I recently heard a talk about how the speaker thought it was better to be nice than right. As someone who likes truth, honesty, sincerity... that just totally rubs me the wrong way. Or maybe... I'm reacting the wrong way... I don't know... I'm starting to ramble.

The Mistborn series opened up my eyes a bit more - bringing me awareness that while people may scoff, mock, doubt, or ridicule what I believe, or do, there's power knowing that what I believe is not an unconscious, robotic behavior. I also don't do things because I may earn praise, agreement or adulation, I do it all regardless of public opinion. I do what I do because I choose to - it's my choice, and I own it.


p.s.
Just like the mists in the mistborn trilogy... lately I've had a lot of thoughts regarding choices swirling in my head... reading these three books this past week sort of uncorked it all at once. I am not sure if what I'm feeling, thinking translates through the words I type... but I chose to get it all out before I lose this train of thought.

Refereeing BITES

Taken with the iPhone by my 5YO - I love this photo so much.

My girls are at the stage where the bickering is common place.

I am losing my mind.

I can't even tell you how much I loathe, loathe with every fiber of my being and then loathe some more the refereeing that I am ordered to do.

It's so pleasant because when they order me to referee it's often accompanied by whining, screaming, ferocity, crying...and all manner of gnashing of teeth.

Sometimes I go in another room and ignore the unpleasant call of MOMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I wait.

I wonder how long it will take them to stop yelling to tattle for any number of minor infractions against each other. I wonder how long it will then take for them to come find me. Then I wonder ... if I can find another location to sneak to.

When one of them finally finds me - they don't get no... sat-is-faction. (sing it sistah!)

I tell them to calm down, to speak clearly, and then I ask them...after they've listed a litany of abuse from their sister, what they're going to do about it, and feign indifference.

They leave. And within minutes are buddies again.

That quick reversal is all that's keeping me from a straight jacket, and blowing my brains out with a ref's whistle.

...now I totally, totally understand how obnoxious my siblings and I were as kids... with the "he's touching me, she's touching me...wah, wah, wah" driving our parents completely, utterly, into lunatics.

Imperfect

Today during General Conference, President Henry B. Eyring got up to the pulpit and humbly mentioned that he'd forgotten to release a few of the brethren from their callings. I didn't see any embarrassment, any care of what people thought of him, I saw him just say what needed to be said.

I love that.

I believe we're here to learn - and we make mistakes. I personally like to make light of mistakes and foibles, because I think laughter lightens the mood. I know not everyone is like that. It seems most people are so hung up with trying to appear perfect, trying to appear like they know everything about a specific subject, topic, etc... that they forget - it's okay to not know everything, it's okay to appear human.

I don't think any of us is going to point, or jeer at President Eyring that he forgot earlier in the session to release those brethren. We'll recognize that "hey, one of the Presidency of this Church makes mistakes, perhaps it's okay for me too, and for me to acknowledge it, and then make it right."

Trying to appear perfect, or all-knowing when we're not - does a disservice to us internally, and to those around us. It's not honest.

My favorite phrase is "I don't know" when I'm asked millions of questions from my daughters. But I follow that up with, "let's find out". I think the fact that they know their mother doesn't know everything, is good. I think that when they know we can learn for ourselves, if we don't know something, is great.

I don't know a lot of things, that's why I love to learn. I know I can find an answer if I search for it. It also increases my confidence and my peace of mind knowing that I don't have to know everything. Phew!

The Agenda

With Sheri Dew - third from the left.

At Time Out For Women they asked each of us to have a question in our hearts. I had a lesson to prepare for our YW regarding worthy thoughts, purity... and since that was what I had been pondering in my heart - the material pretty much presented it to me in those two days.

They also asked us to share with someone, what we KNOW...after this conference, or what we've always KNOWN to be true.

I have a lot of other topics I want to write about - but I'll start with what I KNOW.

I wish I could take what I KNOW and toss it into every man, woman and child out there. Because I believe that if we KNOW who we are - we can move mountains.

As children growing up in the LDS Church we are taught who we are. The first songs we learn are "I am a Child of God". It's instilled as soon as we can talk. This simple message is vital to our missions here on this earth. Because we all have a mission. We are here to fulfill those missions. The fact that we're here, in this body demonstrates our support of God and his plan for our salvation. That is powerful to know... to truly understand and KNOW in every fiber of our being.

I didn't always know who I was. In fact, my soul took quite a beating as a child. I often felt out of place. I remember the feeling I had often as a child, standing amidst a crowd of kids, and feeling completely alone, as if I was a cosmic lab rat. That all these crazy experiments, the taunting, the emotional havoc, the physical hurt, was all something conspired to test when I would go crazy. It was in those moments that I called out to God. That I asked him to rescue me from my predicament. I wasn't rescued in the way I wanted, but my faith was always strengthened. It would have been so easy, so incredibly easy for me to take the path into an unhealthy, unstable lifestyle, I'd have all the excuses I needed to go down that dark, and twisty path, but I didn't, because the Lord increased my faith. I learned at a young age, that He walks beside me.

I discovered early on that if I wanted to become like the people I admired, the ones with faith, with joy, with generosity, that I could become like them, by working hard on myself. That I could make myself the person I would want to be, with the Lord's help. I haven't always been outgoing, or warm. I think if you were to look back at my childhood - you'd find a girl who hid in bathrooms, was scared and awkwardly alone. I used to be the one who would wait to have someone, anyone come say hi to her. That's not me now. Because I didn't like sitting the on the sidelines. I chose to be the person I wanted to be. My Savior gave me the strength to do so.

I found examples, good and bad that I could learn from. I found a co-worker who didn't know who she was without a career - I knew I wanted to know who I was without anyone or anything to distract from who I was at the core.

Just recently I have started to learn the joy of finding out what it means to be loved unconditionally by my Father in Heaven. I've discovered that with my Savior there are no strings attached. He loves me no matter what choices I've made, what mistakes I've made... He loves me, right now, just as I am. Some of you have already learned this ... reflected in those who've raised you - that's miraculous. Discovering it now... has expanded my soul...joyfully. It's such a strange way for me to think and feel - to know that I am lovable, without having to follow any set path, rules, guide, or expectation... it's indescribable.

There are still lessons I'm learning, things I'm constantly struggling with, working on, because I'm not yet the person I want to be. I don't know if I'll ever be that person completely, here on this earth, but I know I can work at it each day.

I think about how, there have been challenges I've lived through, and still am working through... and I think about the way my life is now. If you asked any of my old friends from college, and even some of the boys I dated... I don't think they would have thought of motherhood as a natural fit for me. I certainly would not have imagined that 10+ years after graduating BYU I'd be as centered and happy as a mother, as I am now. In fact, if you had told me I would love to bake and cook, and read cookbooks for enjoyment, own a sewing machine... and actually sew semi-straight lines... I'd probably ask if you were smoking crack. I've only just begun doing these things... in the last five years.

If you had told me that going back to a career is totally unappetizing to me now... I'd try to talk some sense into you. I've discovered that loving the role I have as a wife and Mother is a blessing. It's a blessing because so many women, so many blogs, so many talks from our leaders try to convince a multitude of women that their highest role, their greatest gift to humanity, is to be a Mother. I don't have to be persuaded - I know it. I KNOW it. I OWN it. I genuinely raise my hand to the bar and shout AMEN!

Of course... I wish this knowledge came with a cliffs note manual so I wouldn't be so awful at it... I make mistakes... daily... every minute. I find myself apologizing, on my knees asking to help me to be more patient... but in return I'm blessed with the feeling of fulfillment in this role. I know that this season with my little ones is short... too, too short. I can feel it slipping through my fingers like sand every moment and my heart aches, my mind worries... I still have so much to learn and do for these precious girls.

I haven't always kept my eye on the Savior... there are times I slip. But I have testimony of what Sheri Dew stated so eloquently at the TOFW conference, "When we focus on the world we don't see the Adversary or the Savior. When we focus on the Savior we love Him, we see Him and the effects of the Adversary."

When I think of all the things of the world that ail women who happen to also be mothers... the list is endless. From their body image, their need to compare, shopping labels, cliques, wanting it all, an extra job, or owning your own business (when you don't need it), reputation, degrees, titles... there's so many, and they are so varied. If we aren't centered in who we are, we focus too much on what we think others think of us... we forget that others don't matter. We forget that GOD loves us. We forget that all this superficial dressing, superfluous activities and wants... don't matter. We forget that what matters are the lives we influence. Because when we focus on the world - we are influenced by the world. When we focus on God - we influence the ones who are most important.

Sheri Dew told us that there are three things we MUST KNOW.
1. KNOW who you are - I Am a Child of God.
2. KNOW the POWER of the ATONEMENT
3. KNOW how to Receive Personal Revelation

1. Dew stated that there are two things nearly ALL Prophets teach. First, they testify of Christ - they witness His divinity, and two they preach of US. From Adam and Eve down to this dispensation of the fullness of times - they preach of US. Dew asked "do you think the Lord would take a chance on men and women He couldn't count on? No way." I am here for a purpose. You are here for a purpose. We are a generation different from all others. Ours is the only dispensation that will NOT end in apostasy.

Imagine that. We will always have the priesthood. We will always have temple ordinances. We will always have Prophet who will lead and guide us. The magnitude of that kind of miracle... that we participate in is heavy. It is powerful. We owe it to those that came before to fulfill our missions. To FOCUS on the Savior, to stop our self-pity and constant comparisons with our neighbors. We need to do remember who we are. We may feel inadequate at times, but the Spirit testifies to each of our souls of our power. We are the noble and great ones. Will we live up to that?

2. Dew stated that Christ came with a doctrine of healing. He came to heal us from our heartache, sin, emotional weakness, physical weakness, mental weakness, depression, sorrow, loneliness... everything that makes us feel small, or insignificant. It is vital to our mission to understand the healing power the Atonement.

3. We need to learn the language of revelation. Dew said that we need to learn what it feels like, what it sounds like. That we need to work at it. She said that way the Lord speaks to her has changed over the years. Yet, she is still working to learn, because sometimes she gets it, and sometimes she doesn't. He wants to talk to us, we need to learn to hear it.

Dew also stated, nothing surprises our Heavenly Father. In '98 President Hinckley prophesied about economic collapse. Look at us now. Heavenly Father knew when the world would start to fall apart, and He wanted YOU and me. We weren't placed here accidentally.

We have been sent here to DO.

As a woman I see that my role in this season is to influence for good. Whether that be my most precious daughters, the friends and people I interact with on a daily, or less frequent basis - I have a job to do. I am not craving any other "seemingly more sparkly" position, or one that I, in my small perspective of eternity, deems more important. I already have my call from the Lord. I know who I am. I know God will strengthen me to fulfill my mission joyfully.

When I go through my day I need to remind myself by asking "Who's agenda is this supporting? Christ or the Adversary?"

I KNOW. I know that I am a Child of God. That's just what I know.

With Jenny Oaks Baker, second from the left

Epiphanies

Leah, Kim, SHERI DEW, Queen Scarlett, Shannon, Suzie

This past Fri/Sat I had the pleasure of going to Time Out for Women.

My friend Suzie organized a small group... I've found she is one of a handful of women I am lucky to be living around... that the more I spend time with them, the more I love them. I love women who inspire me, who I admire, and who are genuine. I am very, very blessed.

We celebrated my friend, Kim's birthday on Saturday, who is of that select handful of women that I admire.

I have so much to think about...and so much more to write down. But these past few weeks I've been limiting my Internet time so I can get to the business of living...and learning to be more organized with both kids in school, a large amount of volunteering - and finding a balance with my YW calling...and my more important calling as mother and wife.

So for now... a few thoughts that when spoken at the TOFW conference made my soul expand and jump for joy at the truth that resonated inside my heart.

"Obedience is NOT perfection." (Sheri Dew or Wendy Watson Nelson)

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (quoted by Sheri Dew): “Sometimes we act as though we’re going to stay here on this earth, when we aren’t, we can’t and we won’t.”

“When we focus on the world we don’t see the adversary or the Savior. When we FOCUS on the Savior we love and see Him, and we’re able to see the effects of the adversary and safeguard against him.” - Sheri Dew

Kris Belcher - in response to people telling her "Heavenly Father doesn't give us anything we can't handle" when she had a second bout of cancer that removed the sight of her second eye. Belcher said, "Of course we're given things we can't handle, why else would we have a Savior?"

Kim Nelson - "Be kind to yourself... treat yourself as you would your daughter, or someone else's daughter. Because you are a daughter of God."

"Never Even Once." - Wendy Watson Nelson

Never Even Once will I... take a sip of alcohol, smoke, drink caffeine, wear skimpy clothing, compare myself to others, etc....

Never Even Once will I forget... to get on my knees and pray, turn to the Savior to heal me, remember that He loves me as I am, to hug my children, adore my husband, be gentle to myself, etc...

ps. I was frantically scribbling notes through the two days... so the words may not be precise, but the meaning is there

Why? Because you can.

My trainer Jen is amazing... when she presents us with crazy hard exercises she asks "why? Because you can." It's her positive motivation and placing the responsibility of shaping our bodies on us that I love.

So... because I was browsing my google reader tonight, I saw my friend La Yen's working on this - with the TravelinOma. She saw it on our friend ~J's blog and I noticed my friend CW is working on it too... well.. now I want to do it...because I can. How I will fit it in is a mystery - but it looks like fun!

If you want to join... do it baby. And... if you wouldn't mind referencing me so I get some extra school credit too.

... I am so excited!

An Honest Man

So I cheated.

Our book group last month was supposed to read John Adams by David McCullough.

I had every intention to. I read fast. I chew through books. For some reason I only got to page 43 of the only 656 pages. I can do that in a day and a half...but not this one.

Not because it was dull or uninteresting... but because it was packed so full of fascinating information. I think I underlined more of the book than I read (is that possible?).

So, since I had to host book group the last Wed of July - I did what any kid in high school probably still does. Find a movie to watch about it.

My friends Netflix and HBO came to the rescue. It's a three-disc, 7 part, miniseries. I watched this with my husband. We were fascinated. It was rich with history, stellar acting (Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney) and heart.



In the discussion at book group - it turned out only one of our number had finished the entire book - just hours before our meeting. Even our discussion leader hadn't finished the book.

Some things came out... as I hadn't finished the last disc of the series. I thought Thomas Jefferson was an amazing character. I came to like him a lot through those first two discs. He was a polished man who was more comfortable writing words than oration. My friend who had read the book - totally disliked him. When I watched the third disc, I found a Jefferson I didn't like much.

John Adams on the other hand I respected. He was a man. A man who desired honesty, spoke frankly and thrived on action. I admire his vision, his fortitude and for his love of Abigail, his indomitable wife. I have to admit - I completely related to, and empathized with Adams. His style, honesty, and sometimes frustration at not being understood totally resonated with me.

I loved the friendship, devotion, and love John and Abigail had. I love that while he was a fiery, man of action who often spoke before he thought - he was willing to be chastised, lovingly by his wife. He would take her kind, criticisms to heart, and change. I loved that he valued her opinion above all others. I love that he needed her, and she needed him. I love that they were both people of strong morals, and deep courage.

I couldn't help but admire our forefathers of this great nation. To do the things they did to bring to life the birth of a new nation, while eeking out survival in a wild country - is nothing short of miraculous. I am grateful that our founders believed in, trusted in, and felt accountable to God.


I am grateful to John Adams' posterity. For the sacrifices they had to make so that their father could build a place of freedom. The book and miniseries deals so much with Adams' own family. It was poignant, and painful to watch. It struck home the simple fact - that yes, we can do great things, but at what cost? Each choice we make demands a sacrifice. We have to decide what we value most, and then - accept those consequences, good, or ill from our choices.

There's a scene where Adams is in France asking the French to help fight against the British. Adams is sitting at a lavish banquet hall with the elite of France. The contrast of an established, wealthy, gaudy country, versus our new, rough and tumble, poor country couldn't be starker. I think one of the French ladies asked Adams about art... or some such thing. He states so eloquently something to the effect that he doesn't have the luxury of studying art or music, he fights so that his sons and daughters will study law and commerce, and that their children will study finance and medicine so that their children will have the opportunity to study art and music. (I know this is a total hack-job of a memory - but you get the gist). Each generation stands on the other generation's shoulders... based on sacrifices each generation makes. It was a perfect response to the French who applauded Adams.

One of the other things I loved about this miniseries is the frankness of how things were done back in the 1700-1800s. There's no glamor - there's work, by the sweat of their brow. There's John Adams, after he's retired from serving as President of the United States, working in his own field, building his own fence, mending his own tools. For some reason I really, really like that. It makes me sad that someone of Adams' stature - the honest type - would never, ever get elected today. (I also hope to be proven wrong)

I also thought it was fascinating how we often hold our founding fathers on pedestals - at least I do. And watching this I discovered that sabotage, politics as usual, and power-grabbing were greatly alive during their time. Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson were effective in their use of slyness, and the politics that we despise in our leaders today. It was sad to see that our great war general, George Washington was easily manipulated by Alexander Hamilton in matters of politics.

After we became a new nation, Hamilton for his part wanted war, when France needed our help for their failed revolution. Why? Because it would bolster his party's grab for the Presidency. He even promoted a national debt to keep the federal gov't powerful. I understand certain things were needed... it's the intention, the ambition, that disturbs me. Human nature - hasn't changed.

It was sobering to find out that the media of today was not much different than the media of yesterday. Still sniping, still tearing down, still utterly biased, still completely powerful.

Remember that painting... that revered, famous "Signing of the Declaration of Independence" piece of art by John Trumbull?


Yeah... Adams' hated it. It was something he knew would twist the truth of reality. I'd always operated on the assumption that the signing happened, just like in this picture. All the delegates in a hot, humid, suffocating room. Turns out when the declaration was signed our new country was at war. The signers were running in an out of the city during a dangerous time, signing their names on this document penned by Thomas Jefferson. Not only that - it took great courage to do so. For if we had not been victorious against England, they would be tried, and put to death as traitors to the crown.

I also loved this comment in the movie where after John Adams is President and one of his colleagues says something like "you should be proud - the people are with you." John Adams responds with something like "just because the mob are with you doesn't make them less of a mob."

Watching this, learning and relearning things I had forgotten - made me incredibly grateful. Grateful for this blessed country, with it's faults, and possibilities. I am grateful for the men, and the even more amazing women like Abigail, who counciled their husbands wisely, and raised the next generation of citizens, grateful because I have the privilege of living in this great nation.

The closing quote from John Adams hit home. We show our gratitude for them - the great men, women and children who sacrificed their lives - and for this freedom we take for granted, all freely given... by exercising, protecting, and sharing it.

"No, posterity, you will never know how much it cost us to preserve your freedom. I hope that you make good use of it. If you do not, I shall repent in Heaven that I ever took half the pains to preserve it."

- John Adams

The Kid

Have you ever watched The Kid? It's a Disney movie with Bruce Willis. Basically it's premise is that somehow, Willis' younger self comes to stay with him because he needs to learn something...

I saw this movie years ago, and recently caught it on TV. It was one of those things you start watching as you're flossing, and getting to bed and end up finishing the whole movie. I remember remarking to my husband that Willis' character was so mean to his kid-self. I told him that if I had the chance to spend time with my kid-self I'd want to comfort her for all the challenges she was facing, would face. I was painfully shy, awkward and had incredibly low, self-esteem growing up. I didn't feel loved, I felt picked on at home and at school - it was pretty crappy. There were good moments... but overall - it was a difficult chapter in my life.

And then... I took my daughter Avant Garde Girl to a five-year old birthday party. The girl who's birthday it was had never played with my daughter - the two girls are in the same class in Primary - but had never had the chance to get to know each other. We went because the party was at a gymnastics studio - and AGG loves gymnastics. Plus, the two girls would be in kindergarten next year, so I thought we might as well get better acquainted.

We arrived at the studio 15 minutes late. My daughter refused to go on the mat with all the other kids. She started to panic. She then told me she didn't want to go out there because she didn't think the other kids liked her. I responded by telling her she wasn't giving them a chance to, by standing there. One of the kids, who was older, told my daughter she'd hold her hand, despite this my daughter still stayed in her shell. I asked my daughter if she wanted to leave. She didn't. But she didn't want to go out with the other kids either. This was odd for me because AGG is normally so outgoing, friendly and cheerful. I began to feel frustrated.

Finally the gymnastics instructor took my daughter by the hand and led her to the group. There my daughter stuck like glue to the teacher. It seemed like AGG started loosen up and move around - but then she burst into tears. I carried her off the mat. Eventually she rejoined the group during the cupcake, snack, gift time. She was the kid that helped the mother put the gifts in the bag after they'd been opened. When the instructor announced that she'd let all the kids go back on the mat with all the gymnastic equipment they all cheered in excitement. My daughter burst into tears.

Apparently, they were too loud for her.

I was, I am ashamed to say - mortified.

I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so unsympathetic. 

On the ride home - after she had gotten her goodie bag I thought about the day. I thought about how she acted so differently. I thought about how similar she was that day to the little girl I was. Then it hit me... I'm still not okay with that sad, little girl I was. I suddenly understood how true-to-life the way Willis acted towards his younger self was for me.

I have worked so hard at not being that quiet, shy, inept, self-conscious girl...but I've  forgotten to love the kid I was. Perhaps, my oldest daughter, who has so much of me in her - is my chance, when she has these 'bouts of shyness, it's my chance to empathize, and love the little girl I was.

A Purpose

I just finished teaching a Morningside message today at seminary.

I am back in my pajamas too. See. I am never up this early in the morning.


I'm on day three of a stiff neck (I think it was stress or sleeping funny - stress from watching Fringe right before bed. Maybe I am now part of the patter?) although it's more mobile than day one and day two. I don't know if it's allergies or a cold, but my voice is hoarser and I am tired.

Wanna know what I was talking about today? I addressed adversity, and knowing how powerful each of is, and knowing beforehand what we stand for.

I taught my husband's Sunday School class for kids in 7/8 grade. The lesson was about President John Taylor, third president/prophet of the Church. I used the questions I was was asked when I took a TMA class at BYU. "Do you know how powerful you are?" and "What do you stand for?"

President John Taylor was known for being a "defender of the faith" and a "champion of liberty". I love that. I love his experiences - his living boldly with faith.

That afternoon I received a call from Bonnie, our seminary principal. I've taught seminary before - when I first finished college and was working. I taught my sister the Old Testament. I am a crazy tired grumpy woman without sleep. I think I scared those kids sometimes. So when I heard her tell me she was the seminary principal, I mentally prepared the word NO in my head.

But then she had to pull the "President Norman suggested I contact you since our original speaker will not be in town". First, I love Pres Norman. He is one of the kindest men. Second, he is in our stake presidency, so I am a rules girl - I will go and do what is asked of me.

I don't remember having Morningside when I was in seminary. Apparently it's a fireside in the morning. They do it every month on the last Friday of seminary. After the original speaker, they tried getting President Norman and our Bishop to speak. So I was totally a back-back-back... picking at straws back-up. No pressure.

I was grateful my husband had been sick and needed me to sub for him on Sunday - it was like a run through for Friday. I added a lot of new things, but essentially the message was the same... try to inspire these amazing teens with the knowledge that they have a purpose, that they can overcome adversity and that they are extremely powerful.

I was also grateful that a couple days ago the BYU Magazine came. In it was an Q&A with Randy Bott, and old professor of mine...and anyone that took "Sharing the Gospel" at BYU. I had forgotten his four elements of a sacrament meeting talk. So this was perfect in organizing all my thoughts I hadn't yet nailed down on paper.

Yesterday my girls who never go down for a nap without a fight, were quiet in their rooms long enough for me to finish writing all my thoughts down. They didn't nap, but they were quiet. What a blessing.


Also I wanted bean bags. I called a few stores, none of which carried any. So I called the crafter queen Angela. She said she'd whip some up in 20 min. She did. It was awesome.

Then I realized I needed someone to watch my girls since my hubby goes to work when I was to start teaching. My wonderful friend Brooke had time, and was willing to cut her morning swim short.

My little business card handouts came out great too.



Funny how things work out.

Last night Bonnie called to ask me how I was. She then asked how to introduce me. I told her just my name and ward is fine. I'm a nobody...I like it like that. She suggested that she could mention I was recommended by Pres Norman... I said NO WAY. No pressure. I don't want to puff myself up...don't need it, don't want it. Let the kids learn about me from me.

I think it went okay. I hope the messages came across. I prayed before I went to teach. I am always nervous when I teach. Why? Because I hope that I am a good tool for my Savior. I want the kids to hear what He wants them to, what they need through me. I like to imagine I'm a hollow tube to let His messages flow through me. So I'm nervous because I hope I don't clog up along the way. (har)

It was a good experience for me. I remember how hard school was. How scary it could be. How it felt to be picked on, insecure and feeling alone. But I know how it is to overcome, to let it pass (har)... to look back and be grateful because adversity makes us stronger.

We have great teens in our stake. They are dealing with much more than I ever had to. I"m grateful for the gospel. I'm grateful for the chance to spend a whole week preoccupied with preparing a lesson. It was a nice spiritual place to be. I think the Lord knew I needed a concentrated dose. All my silly challenges this week served in reminding me about adversity. I felt like this week, was very purposeful. Things fell into place.

I apologize if this is at all jumpy... I am never up this early. I so need a nap. Also, how cool is MormonWiki?

France... I'm sorry

...for all the jokes I laugh at about you. My respect for you has risen... due to how you thoughtfully researched the same-sex marriage debate.

See this video:




I never thought I'd ever say this...but on this issue - our politicians should look to France.

As for the constant barrage of the PR campaign to couch same-sex marriage as civil rights? Did you ever think to wonder how the folks that actually had to fight for civil rights went through... and how they would feel about it?



Interesting.