My Guy - Happy Daddy's Day!

My husband Phantom, who loves nothing better than to have a nice, soft back scratch, and my daughter Avant Garde Gal (4.5 yrs) had this conversation recently:

P: Will you scratch my back like I scratch yours?

AGG: No.

P: Why?

AGG: Daddy, your back is humongous, like a giant!


AGG was feeling goofy today and this is how she responded to "What do you like about Daddy?"

I like his USA Shirt (hockey jersey from the SLC Olympics US v. Belarus - we won!)
He kisses me
He loves Kalea
Kalea's the best girl
I like the hair that he shaves it (they like it when he has a smooth face)
He flosses his teeth
When he crosses his eyes

These are Dauntless Daughter's responses to the same question. She's 2.5 years.

I like it when he gives me fruit snacks
I like playing games, sleeping
When Daddy separates me (from her sister when they are too rambunctious to sleep together) I like kissing Daddy
Going to the pool


My guy is a guy who if I'm doing the dishes, comes over to help rinse and have me load. He'll also scrub the sink clean if I'm doing laundry.

My guy willingly cleans toilets.

My guy also takes care of our yard, fixes things around the house and deals with negotiating when I don't like it.

My guy loves to create luscious desserts, and enjoys good food.

My guy loves to cuddle with his girls.

My guy tells great stories to our daughters - who listen with rapt attention.

My guy forgives quickly and easily.

My guy works hard.

My guy is a good teacher.

My guy loves to have us all go out and admire the cars he's just finished washing.

My guy knows just how to comfort a daughter who's hurt herself.

My guy indulges the girls when we need to go out.

My guy still, easily turns me on.

My guy still, gets easily turned on by me.

My guy knows how to make us all laugh.

My guy thinks his girls are adorable - and we make him laugh.


My guy gets up and does Karaoke so that I'll do it - checking off something from my life list. (He sang Louis Armstrong's "What a Wonderful World" the whole kitchen came out to watch)

My guy is a good Father.

My guy isn't perfect, but neither are we.

My guy is a man.

My guy is sleeping in today - because we love our Daddy.



Happy Father's Day honey... I love you my sweetie weetie, cutie wootie, sexy wexy. You make my heart happy.

Post Update: My guy wanted me to add "CUDDLY WUDDLY" ... because that's his favorite one...and I forgot.

Layers of Insulation

There are certain "hot topics" for me that make my stomach churn. Topics, and attitudes that make my brain go into overdrive, faster than my mouth can form words. Unfortunately when that happens, what I hear in my head never sounds the same way when it comes out of my mouth.

Last year a friend of mine did a play group over the summer with a small group of us. It was fantastic. She planned us to switch homes each week. Each mother was in charge of reading a book to the kids (which I loved), an activity, snack and then play time. She also planned "field trips" too.

Turns out someone in the Relief Society found out - so my friend, who has a difficult time saying no, opened up the field trips to the ward. Which was fine.

This year I thought I'd go ahead and do a play group. My idea was to include friends that I knew from school, neighborhood and even Church. Well, like anything - the RS found out and asked if they could join in. I honestly felt and do feel ambivalent.

I guess I wondered - is it the RS responsibility to organize play dates for mothers? Aren't we supposed to be anxiously engaged in a good cause on our own? Has initiative lost it's savor? I also wondered why other Moms didn't just invite their friends from school etc... and not just friends from Church. I think as a whole - I know it's a generalization - but most are too insular. I think if we want to be a light - we ought to shine it in places where there aren't a multitude of candles already. Just a thought. I know the LDS are fond of missionary work - so why not look at this as an opportunity to share who we are, build bridges of understanding by truly being friends with folks that don't see us every Sunday?

I think it didn't help that on Sunday, during Sunday School I couldn't contain the churning in my stomach. The lesson was about the revelation about the three kingdoms in Heaven. There was a question about... "well, why would the adversary want us to think there's just Heaven or Hell"? (or... in my opinion...he wants us to think there isn't a hell) One of the commenters suggested that the pass/fail option would quickly discourage people. I suggested that perhaps that metric allowed those of us that have the ability to exceed expectations to slack off...and get by - knowing that well... "at least I'm not as bad as....so I don't have to change... I can just stay stagnant".

Then the conversation started veering towards my no-man's land. Where the attitude started feeling like... well I go to the temple all the time - that makes me really, really good. Or because of this metric we are so safe and protected. Or the other people have to deal with this consequence...

That kind of talk just makes my skin crawl. I'm sorry, but just because you serve in the temple - doesn't mean you don't beat your children or rule with unrighteous dominion. I've known plenty who do. It frustrates me because if anything - knowing the gospel shouldn't make us puff up our chests in self-satisfaction. If anything we should be incredibly grateful and feel lucky to know what we know... and then have a dose of warning - because let's face it - the more you know, the more responsiilty and greater consequences we're responsible for. (perdition - probably going to be someone who knows the gospel...and truly seen/known God - probably not someone who doesn't know the gospel... just a thought)

So it's time to wipe the smug smile off our collective faces. I think many LDS folks become too insulated in the culture that they really, truly believe that if you are LDS you are good. If you're not, well - you need to change. And that is sad. With that attitude we are fooling ourselves. We are NO different than anyone else. We might know different things, but that doesn't mean we're better. It doesn't mean there aren't great people who could offer us lessons we would otherwise not have learned. It doesn't mean that the people you see each Sunday aren't ruling their homes in a abhorrent manner.

I guess it seems that some forget that change is not a mere affectation of outward appearances, checking off all the metrics we have - or even, speaking softly like they do in General Conference - change is in our hearts... a place nobody else can see. It's a place you can't flaunt. It's a place that only God knows and understands. Any amount of dressing we want to use to hide what's really going on inside - doesn't matter - because the only one who does matter - God - sees through all that crap.

Then it brings me to the fact that I am a new Beehive advisor in Young Women (please don't say Young Womens - with that 's' it's so grammatically wrong to me). I feel like I have a responsibilty to let those young girls know that being righteous isn't a matter of trying to align ourselves with the thoughts, acts of a prescribed view of piety. That they can be faithful, but still have a personality. That it's okay to be happy, and demonstrate that joy. That it's okay for me to say - I like being intimate with my husband... in fact I like it a lot - and not have people freak out about it. Listen - our kids get enough of one-side of intimacy - we have a greater responsiblity to share the joys and beauty of intimacy in a loving, eternal marriage relationship. If we don't teach them - they will never know.

Now - I compare this to the temple. The temple is sacred. It's also beautiful and peaceful. Am I not going to share the fact that I love it because it's sacred? Of course not. Naturally I don't go into detail about it. But I share how it makes me feel. How grateful I am that I have met the requirements to enter the temple.

Likewise with intimacy - it is a sacred bond. It's beautiful and wonderful. Am I going to share the details? (Well, not unless you're a really good friend(har har).) But of course I'm not going to share the nitty gritty details. However, it's important to let our youth know the truth - that intimacy is always good - in the bounds the Lord has prescribed.

We need to let our youth grow up knowing that being a good LDS member isn't about mincing around acting a certain way. We need to let them know that being LDS allows you to soar the way you want, soar higher. We need to let them know that there are GREAT people within and without the LDS religion. We need to let them know that they don't need to hide in layers of insulation - that they need to, and have a responsibilty to reach out, and let their light of influence radiate with warmth.

The only way our youth can learn that - is if we, as a group start peeling off the insulation, layer-by-layer.

Forgetting the Audience

Tonight my husband Phantom, was trying to reason with my oldest, Avant Garde Gal who is 4.5 years.

She always uses the "I don't think you love me" cry whenever we tell her not to push her sister, stop tearing paper into bits and sprinkling it all over the place, or some other such shenanigan.

P: You will eat your food, all of it. 

AGG: I don't think you love me!

QS: *sigh*

AGG: You don't think I'm beautiful. You don't love me!

P: What you're saying is irrelevant.

AGG: What's irrelevant?

P: Irrelevant means not pertinent.

Speechless...but plenty to write

I love authors. I love authors of great books. I love wondering what goes on in those fascinating minds. I usually email an author before a book group - if I'm in charge of that particular discussion that month.

I have never, ever gotten a response. That is... until yesterday.

I couldn't contain my excitement all day. Not only did the author write back - she was so personable and asked me if I had any questions. I was so thrilled, I spent the rest of the day agonizing over what I should ask.

I should also mention - I sent the email on Wed of this week - the response came the very next day, Thursday. I just sent off 10 questions to await answers.

I have officially turned into a total fangirl. Is that a word? I think most of us that blog have a deep-rooted desire to become real, published authors. I am no different. So when an author I adore acknowledges my existence, it's almost like being blessed by deity...almost.

Needless to say, not only am I fan because I love the book The Last Chinese Chef, and that she writes for Gourmet magazine and knows food...(and I love food) I am a huge fan because she also responded to my simple email plea.

Thank you Nicole Mones. YOU ROCK!

A Family Lives Here

Several weeks ago when I taught a Morningside for Seminary I was lucky to have my friend Brooke watch my girls while they continued to sleep blissfully.

I came home from the Morningside and immediately apologized to her for the state of my home, it wasn't as spic and span as I would've liked, but Brooke stopped me.

A little about my friend Brooke. She is incredibly smart. She is artistic, quirky, funny and she always makes me laugh. She married much later than typical BYU-UT Mormon women do. Her husband is a bit older and so they do not have any children of their own. She is however, a mother to all her nieces, nephews and the people she meets.

When she stopped me from my apologies - she said that she used my bathroom while I was way. As she passed by our laundry room to the bathroom she saw all the big people and little people shoes mixed in a massive, messy, pile. I just about started to apologize again, but she said, "I love it!"

Brooke told me she loved seeing that a family lived in our home. She talked about how when she and her twin sister used to watch kids for their friends, one of her girlfriends said "I am not going to apologize for being a family" in reference to the state of her home (toys, shoes, odds and ends, constant battle with school papers and wrappers, etc.).

I was so touched I could feel the tear ducts start up. I took Brooke's message to heart. After she left, I went and took a picture of our mountainous pile of shoes. I had never, ever looked at my home the way Brooke had. I am so grateful for her perspective - it demonstrates how I need to remember to be grateful, even for the never-ending messes, because - a family lives here.

Buzz, Buzz...

We're back from a quickie trip to the Beehive State.

20 some hours of driving
1 stormy sierra stretch
1 husband who did all the driving
1 UT plates truck carrying a butt-load of bumpers tossing one right into our path
2 girls who were fantastically good on the drive, both ways
1 adorable little nephew - my first nephew and my girls' cousin!
1 fantastic sister
2 mosquito bites requiring benadryl
1 momma who was the grumpy one on the road trip
4 homemade California pizzas for dinner
A bunch of great friends past and present
Lots of pumpkin white chocolate cookies and tea sandwiches
1 delish dinner at Bombay House
1 visit to Veteran's Memorial Pool
1 visit to Thanksgiving Point's Farm Life
1 visit to SLC Temple and Church History Museum
1 visit to SubZero - my sister treated us
1 visit to Artic Circle on the trip home - I had never had Artic Circle my entire BYU experience...not bad (I realized I had never really done the fast-food thing during college - maybe that's why I didn't gain the freshman 15)
1 visit to Sonic - my first ever
2 trips to Macey's... which still cracks me up... the name... Macy's vs Macey's.

...adds up to missing family and friends... but oh, so grateful to fall asleep in our own beds this morning around 5am.

More about our trip when I finish the 4 loads of laundry.

You are my Density

Last week at book group we discussed a book I have loved for a long time, The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde.

It's a very entertaining, lighthearted, quirky book. It's a fantasy world, where the hippest thing is literature, good literature. There's a police force making sure people aren't selling fraudulent first editions, or coming up with fake copies of undiscovered Shakespearean plays. Where there are ardent cult-like members that are physically violent when it comes to debating Shakespeare or Bacon. It's a fascinating world where, you could actually pop into your favorite novel...and experience it...the sights, sounds and smells. There's clever word play, references to other literature... and witty humor. I adore the series.

So imagine my surprise when one of the questions asked during our discussion was about destiny. Do you have a destiny? Do you know what it is? Did you have a moment in time where you recognized what that destiny was?

I love how book group has the ability to start real conversations. That a clever, entertaining novel could encourage a profound discussion. As a side note, I'd love to meet Mr. Fforde. His mind must be a most fascinating one. To come up with such an intricate series of books, keep it all straight and inject it with so many clever treasures... astounds me.

I talked a little about what I thought my destiny is. Mine is to search for, stand for and defend Truth. I've felt that burden, challenge, since college. The other destiny is to learn, and mold myself from people, and experiences I learn from.

For example, my first job out of college I worked at a small boutique PR agency specializing in semiconductor, EDA and foundry clients. One of the women who worked there went on maternity leave and returned one day with her adorable baby girl. I was thrilled. I couldn't wait to talk to her to hear all about her lovely life.

So she stunned me when I asked "how are you doing?" and she honestly answered "I don't know who I am without my job."

I made a conscious decision then and there at 21 that I needed to know who I was outside of a job, outside of one day becoming a wife, mother...etc... I needed to know who I was as a woman, so that I never needed something or someone to know who I was. I wanted to make sure I didn't need any one talent, interest or image to feel like I was something/someone. That is a lesson I am grateful to have learned.

I also learned, living in a ward when my hubby and I were first married, that I wanted to do things I wanted to do, before having kids. I often heard these young moms who didn't complete college, sitting at home with a handful of kids complaining about being a mom. Complaining that their husband was on a business trip, eating out, while she was stuck with cereal and bathing four children. I didn't want to be that. I guess that's one reason I was adamant during college/dating to let people know I was getting my degree before I married. I was not going to be left without one. I was never in college to gain an MRS degree...I wanted a BA baby.

I also learned I didn't want to be that Mom... the one that had a degree, perhaps an advanced one, and then a high-powered career who stopped doing that to raise children, begrudgingly. A woman who felt she was above diapering, and wearing a Mom uniform. A woman who felt mothering was beneath her... one craving for that outside attention. I didn't want to be that, and felt any children that came to my home deserved better.

So I was grateful I had a career... it worked for me, my personality. Today, I have no desire whatsoever to leave my kids to chill at a job if we can work it so I don't need a job. I don't want, nor need, that self-gratification. I know how fleeting and unsatisfying the "what have you done for me lately" career world truly is.

I've learned that just because I'm also a mother doesn't mean my learning ends. It means I have a greater responsibility to thirst for knowledge. It means I need to be interested in the world around me. It means that because I am interested, my girls will be as well. I have a responsibility as a mother to demonstrate to my daughters how to search for, stand for and defend truth, I can't do that if I don't read, study and discuss.

I know there have been moments (like right after giving birth) when I had no interest whatsoever to pick up a book, but that was a moment, a season. Now that I have some time, I find I can't get enough. I love to learn. I love to learn new things, new perspectives, and find evidence to support thoughts I've always held.

I think as women we have so much potential and power. I guess... I am pretty firm in knowing who I am, what my destinies are and ... I like moving toward something, improving constantly. What is your destiny?

Racy Politics

I don't buy it. I never buy it. I refuse to buy it.

I don't buy the race card.

If you try to sell me on it, I'd more than likely shred it to bits, pulverize it and then run it over a few times with a bulldozer. Clear?

I don't like the race card, nor do I try to use it myself. In fact, I think I work overtime to prevent that race card from ever sticking to me.

So with this hubbub of the nomination of Sonia Sotomayor (I will admit it is fun to say her name... nice tasting last name) I am seething.

If you are not familiar with me, you'll know quickly that I despise any kind of favoring based on arbitrary conditions such as race or sex... or length of toes, or belly-button lint. It's ridiculous.

So when I read comments of Sotomajor's in the Washing Times article here, that says this:

In 2002, in a speech in California, Judge Sotomayor said race or sex does affect a judge's rulings, and said because of that, a minority woman is a better decider than a white man: "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experience would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life."

Three years later, at a panel discussion at Duke Law School, she seemed to endorse judicial activism on the appeals courts, telling students considering clerkships: "Court of Appeals is where policy is made. And I know - I know this is on tape, and I should never say that because we don't make law. I know."

... um... I say THROW HER OUT. We do NOT need this kind of a person in the Supreme Court. The purpose of a court is to INTERPRET, NOT make laws. The purpose of a JUSTICE is to be BLIND. Sotomayor fulfills NONE of these requirements. I don't care how many opinions she's written, how many cases she's overseen - it doesn't matter ... because she doesn't deserve to be a judge.

If anything, it is further proof that picking people on arbitrary requirements such as race and sex is a FAILURE.

In other words... I am a BETTER judge than any white man - because... wait for it... I AM AN ASIAN WOMAN. There... that's it... I have better judgment. Really? Are we stupid or something?

Here's what I know. I am an American. I am unwilling to support someone wholly unqualified to uphold the constitution, and interpret laws, even if that means that kids can look at a minority, female and say, "whoo hoo, maybe I could be that one day." Running a government isn't a feel-good, self-esteem deal. It's about REAL issues, not touchy-feely, kumbaya crap. Have people lost their marbles? There are more important things than some kid's self-esteem. It's not the government's job to do that... I'll give you a hint... it's the PARENT'S job.

UGH... I feel like I'm screaming until I'm blue in the face. I have never, ever, thought Affirmative Action in any sense is smart. It's dumbing things down, it's creating a false layer of success - it's rewarding how many nipples someone has, versus that grey matter between their ears. I mean, c'mon! All this Affirmative Action lunacy has created a class of people who think reverse discrimination is justice. Am I the only one noticing that the inmates of the Asylum are running loose?

Anytime I hear Obama and his crew talking about someones life experience ...meaning their race... and then immediately telling people not to talk about race... I know they are selling me on a rotten bill of goods. Politics never felt so racy when politicians act more greasy than car salesmen.

Mother Earth

My daughter AGG, who is four saw this picture and said "That's Wall-E's thing!!!"

Another thing from Yoga class I remembered. The instructor was guiding us through a few poses, one right after the other. She wanted us to ground ourselves into the earth. Which, I'll be honest, always makes me laugh a little on the inside, because we're on the second floor of the gym. Yes, I also hang out in the back of the class giggling when I fall over, because it's funny.

She started talking about grounding into the earth, being grateful for the earth, for the food that sustains us, grown in the earth. I kept thinking, "thank you mother earth".

Driving home I thought of how nurturing motherhood is. How we provide the nutrients (good food, healthy living, education, etc) for our children. I thought about God. I thought about our Heavenly Mother. I know we don't speak about Her, she is so special. I started to wonder, is how we treat the bounty of the earth reflective of how we would treat our Heavenly Mother?

I'm not sure I can find the right words for what I was feeling as I drove home, but I almost felt like, we weren't worthy to know more about her, because we haven't been doing a great job of appreciating, and taking care of what we have here from the earth.

I don't know. But I do know I want to think more consciously of where my food comes from, how I treat the beautiful, rich earth, and how I can mother my children to appreciate it too.

HAPPY TUESDAY

Breaking News - CA Supreme Court PRESERVES MARRIAGE BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN.

They UPHELD the PEOPLE'S VOICE... a voice that resonated not once, but TWICE.

More details later.

The interesting thing is... I've been feeling incredibly peaceful about the decision today... wasn't worried leading up to today - just peaceful. Although, now the reactions to justice and rule of law will also start it's screeching.

This stepping stone isn't the end of the work to preserve marriage, if anything it's just a taste of more to come.

The Art of Possibility

Last week in Sunday School my friend Jaime's hubby, Carl shared about a book, The Art of Possibility. I am adding this to my goodreads.com list.

He gave us a little taste. We live in a world of measurements. A world where we measure our weight, our amount of cars, our square footage, our income, our number of associates, our baptism stats, our visiting teaching stats, etc...This world is a finite world of measurement.

I started to feel suffocated listening to this world. This world that strangles the joy out of life.

He then illustrated that instead of living in this finite world - we should live in the realm of possibility. In this world of possibility we're able to live with wonderment, with passion.

Most of us set goals. I do. But I also hate setting goals, when I don't meet them. I love them when I do...and I work my tail off to reach them. In this book it asks us to instead, set the context of what we wish to accomplish, not goals. Goals are limiting, the context allows our lives to unfold, and allows possibilities to emerge.

Each of us knows what was before this life, and what can be after this life. The truth is, that there isn't a pie chart for life. There's an infinite amount of "pie" (I hope mine is apple) for everyone, in every situation, in each of our possibilities.

I have been thinking about this all week. The message of that totally resonated with me. Like there's always been a home for this concept, but I never knew how to articulate it. I love that living with possibility is called an art form.

Today in Relief Society the lesson was about Provident Living - specifically finances. One comment went back to the same thing that I have heard over and over about. The commenter talked about how when she first got married she felt pressure to have the things her in-laws had, a home, nice furniture, nice cars, etc... but she realized that she needed to remember how old they were - that they weren't at that age/stage of life yet, and to be patient.

That's well and good. But that's not the point. The point of the art of possibility is not to measure ourselves by someone's life metric. We are all different. We live in different contexts. We shouldn't be comparing ourselves to others. We will never, I repeat, NEVER be happy until we stop comparing. If that is one mission in my life to tell people NOT to compare with each other, I'll have accomplished something.

I remember when my husband and I were still newly married, sans kids. We married in '01 and bought a home in '03. My Mom's aunt or some such cousin... came to visit our home. She made a comment that irked me. She walked around and griped, "well, we certainly didn't have this when we were their age."

I thought about that. Why does someone's good fortune hurt her? I think perhaps she is busy living a life of comparisons. A place, where you are allowed only certain experiences at certain times, if at all. A life where there is only so much of the "pie" available in that tiny pie chart. To me she is living a finite life.

I've never been one to think this way. When I see someone meeting good fortune, I think, fantastic. Or if I see someone I'd like to be more like - I want to learn from them. Because I believe it's possible. I think we're much happier people if we stop using those silly, arbitrary metrics. Each of us is unique. We need to take stock about what makes us happy, why that is, and focus on ourselves, and our own little families. Other people's opinions don't matter. What do you think of yourself? What does God think? That's it...and we all know, in the quiet of our minds if we do things for ourselves, or for the praise/jealousy of others.

The art of possibility is available to all of us... each one of us can choose to stop using silly metrics and comparisons of who has what, who does what. If we all work at this I think a lot of that green-eyed envy will shrivel up and disappear. (I can hope for that possibility...can't I?)

I read recently about this woman living a "wild and precious" life. I like that. I want to be like that...so I'm going to learn, open my heart and embrace the possibilities. Join me, won't you?

Feather Falls

ps. I'm hiking Feather Falls with some friends today...just us gals. This means my hubby has the whole day with girls... I'm starting to get nervous about if they'll be fed, be reminded to go pee and how the house will appear when I return home... anyone want to place a bet?

Post-Hike update - my hubby had a BBQ (chicken, ribs, NY steak, corn, pineapple... grilled...mmm) waiting when I arrived home. The girls had a fun day with him swimming, shopping, telling stories, buying treats. The house... in great shape. I am so lucky.

Ohhhhhmmmmm

Saturday during the beginning of Yoga the instructor started talking about a weekend class she was hosting at her home with a priestess and shaman or something. I sort of tuned out. But then she said something that I latched onto for the rest of the hour. She asked us to remove the violence from our minds. The violence we inflict on ourselves, in our heads, in what we tell ourselves in the silence. She said, "be grateful for your body, for what you can do, for what you have."

Can't do this...yet.

Have I had an internal hang-up about my body since ...um forever? Yep. Which is silly, because I look back and think, "wow you looked good girl". But I never appreciated it then. So I'm going to try harder to appreciate what I have now. I'm going to appreciate that I can run. I will appreciate my flexibility, my healthy limbs and able lungs. I'm going to say thank you to my heart that keeps this whole thing pumping, for the ability to breath in and out, to cleanse the air inside my blood. I'm going to appreciate what I can see, smell, hear, taste and touch...

Can do this! Yay!

I'm not going to worry that I can't quite get into some of those complicated yoga poses, but I can do many others. I'm not going to worry that my limbs are not as lithe as I'd want them, but appreciate that they are hard working muscles. I'm going to be more grateful for this body made especially for me.

To be grateful for what we have...how very zen.

Namaste.

OTV scares the POOP out of me

Today as I was running... shocking, isn't it. Today I hit three miles... whoo whoo!

I was running, and since I haven't found my head phones, I read the captions. I was watching the news and there was a story that stunned me.

Apparently Obama likes to exclude the already fawning press corps from attending certain events... and instead has his own film/media crew to produce a prettier picture from his perspective. Um... does anyone else think this is rather disturbing? See an example from this ABC news story I found online. The story illustrated seemed inocuous enough...but who is naive enough to think it'll end there... come on... the people of this country are so easily manipulated... I really think people want to be manipulated... otherwise... why would this have happened? Honestly... the easily manipulated need to pull a resonant Homer Simpson "DOH"!

What are we ... a freakin' dictatorship now? Wow...that transition from democracy, to socialism ...straight to a dictatorship happened in like... 100 days. Impressive.

I don't have a problem if he wants his own crew... IF he lets the outside media outlets in too. Let's face it... most of this country would rather stick their heads in the sand than face up to what they did to this country in the last election. And that... always scares the poop out of me.

...and NO I don't want OTV... whether that O is for Obama or Oprah... a BIG N-OOOOOOOOO.

A Letter to the Editor

Dear SacBee,

Thank you for your public tantrum. You have further proved how totally, irrevocably, irrelevant you are. You should have never pulled your childish tirade. Now, not only do you look like an immature, petulant child, you're also a weasel too. Bravo!

In a time when the papers are becoming extinct... you are quickly creating your own demise. Bravo! Encore!

Let's make if very clear - America is a place for people who rule. Not you hacks sitting in a dingy, cubicle office. We rule. We vote. We stick it to the folks we elect. It's OUR job. You want to know how we want the budget changed? STOP spending. Make cuts. Cuts that WILL hurt. Let's face it, these politicians have been running us dry... how could anyone be surprised that the people finally woke up and said, NO WAY, NO HOW... HELL NO. We don't want more spending when we as a state HAVE NO MONEY!!!

Have you heard the latest? The loopy legislature wants to increase gas taxes...but instead of letting the people vote on it - they want to add it as if it wasn't a gas tax... to pull an illegal maneuver on us... changing the definition of words to make it so. Let's just say, next time these fools are up for election - we'll remember - we're angry...and nothing... is going to cool us off.

Oh...and SacBee... remind me how great your circulation is again... oh, right nothing noteworthy to mention.

Sincerely,
One of the people you so dismiss... you're in for it now.


See Michele Malkin and The Radio Patriot

Nice Ride

I'd so love to win one of these...

...not that you were wondering...but been busy enjoying this lovely weather and just hanging out with my fam.

Spoiled Mormon?

Yep, I have been.

Go check out this article and let's all try to do better. I know I need to...

Food and stuff

Okay so... I have neglected my other blog for nearly a year... am going to try to do better.

I'm working on posting this week over here. 

My Mother's Day

On Mother's Day my husband slept in.

Then my daughters and I brought him breakfast in bed around 10:30am. (Church doesn't start until 11:30am)

We greeted him with "HAPPY FATHER'S DAY"! He woke up all groggy and with a confused look in his eyes said, "I thought it was Mother's day"? heheheh

There's a Father's day song too...

In all fairness, he was out working the yard the day before. He over-exerted his back. The breakfast in bed was my little way of teasing him. Don't worry... he made up for the morning.

The one thing I wanted, was to be on-time to Church to take the sacrament. We weren't exactly on time - but we made in time to take the sacrament. The adult talk was given by Greg, my friend April's hubby. He did a fantastic job. If you're looking for a well-rounded, realistic, but joyful talk - he gave it. They're both great speakers.

Then came the ward gift after Sacrament meeting, for all the women in Relief Society. I joked to my hubby that if it wasn't chocolate, I wasn't standing. Turns out, it was better than chocolate. Two chocolate covered pretzels from Sugar Rush.

In Relief Society our presidency presented a little brunch. We had a short lesson and then gabbing and munching. Nice huh? I'm thinking this should be a weekly thing.

After Church my hubby told me we should take the girls to the bathroom. I told him they could wait until we got home. He then spilled that he had a surprise in store for us. YIPEE!

He took us to the Sacramento Temple to have a picnic. He forgot the camera, but we had the iPhone. I love picnics. I love love love picnics. I also love the temple. The Sacramento Temple grounds are beautiful... the girls like to pretend they're in the spooky woods. It's perfect for just laying out in the sun and enjoying the peace of being near to the Temple.

After our picnic lunch we strolled around the Temple. The girls love being near the temple. It was the perfect way to enjoy a Mother's day. The Temple reminds me of how important our little family is. It draws my soul upwards to where I hope we can return.

When we returned home, we set the girls loose outside in their kiddie pool and cooked together. We love cooking together - my hubby and I would love to take gourmet cooking classes when the girls are older.

Dinner was a simple, what we had in the kitchen, dinner. Chicken curry and fresh fruit. I am a curry addict.

The evening ended with my hubby and I watching a movie and him rubbing my back, my arms, my feet... it was nice. Time with family... that's all I need.

Maybe next year we'll check off something from my bucket list... I want to go to one of those gourmet, need reservations far in advance, Mother's Day Brunches. Know of any good ones? I am ready to start planning now.

Family Date Night

1. Dress up.

2. Go to I Love Terriyaki and Sushi.

3. End at Coldstone

ps. for those of you that have access to the family blog "crying over spilt milk"... posts are scheduled all week... I got busy. For those of you without access - email me... I might let you in.

Mother's Day

This is my first Mother's Day where I have gotten a real homemade gift made at school from my daughter. It was a cookie flower with two gum drops to secure it to the stick.

Avant Garde Gal: MOMMY! Happy Mother's Day! I made you a flower!

QS: WOW! Thank you sweetie. I love it.

AGG: But Mommy, I'm going to eat when we get home.

QS: I thought you said it was for me.

AGG: Yes, but I don't want you to get big and fat. So I'll eat it.

Here is her song she learned from school.
Happy Mother's Day!

...yes, she and her sister split the flower that evening... because that's part of being a Mommy too. (ok, fine, honestly... gumdrops and a store-bought cookie - not my style, had they really wanted me to eat it - I would have done it, luckily that was not the case this Mother's Day - it's the thought that counts...and I was tickled.)

Being a Child is Stupid

Avant Garde Gal: I am going to disappear you Daddy.
Phantom: Then I'm going to disappear you.
AGG: No.
Phantom: Ok fine, I'll bring you back.
AGG: I'm going to crack your head.
Phantom: Ok, then I'll just disappear you again.
AGG: No, if you do that I'm, I'm, I'm going to THROW things at you.
Phantom: You better not.
AGG: I will.
Phantom: Try it.

*AGG runs from the family room to the office where I'm sitting*


Queen Scarlett: Sweetie, what are you doing?
AGG: I'm hiding from Daddy.
QS: Why?
AGG: Daddy wanted me to disappear, that means he wants me to be dead.
QS: He doesn't want you to be dead.
AGG: Well, he disappeared me.
QS: He disappeared you after you disappeared him. He brought you back and then you tried to crack his head, so he disappeared you a second time. You started it.
AGG: I told Daddy to go to time-out and the garage.
QS: Sweetie, are you in charge of the house?
AGG: Yes.
QS: No, you're not, you're not a grown up.
AGG: Yes I am.
QS: No, you are a child.
AGG: NO, YOU ARE WRONG! I'm four-and-half, I'm a GROWN-UP.
QS: No, you're not, four-and-a-half is a child.
AGG: I don't want to be a child.
QS: Why?
AGG: Being a child is stupid.

Analogy

A brilliantly written post about an analogy of sub-prime mortgages and same-sex marriage.

Please - go read it.

The Kid

Have you ever watched The Kid? It's a Disney movie with Bruce Willis. Basically it's premise is that somehow, Willis' younger self comes to stay with him because he needs to learn something...

I saw this movie years ago, and recently caught it on TV. It was one of those things you start watching as you're flossing, and getting to bed and end up finishing the whole movie. I remember remarking to my husband that Willis' character was so mean to his kid-self. I told him that if I had the chance to spend time with my kid-self I'd want to comfort her for all the challenges she was facing, would face. I was painfully shy, awkward and had incredibly low, self-esteem growing up. I didn't feel loved, I felt picked on at home and at school - it was pretty crappy. There were good moments... but overall - it was a difficult chapter in my life.

And then... I took my daughter Avant Garde Girl to a five-year old birthday party. The girl who's birthday it was had never played with my daughter - the two girls are in the same class in Primary - but had never had the chance to get to know each other. We went because the party was at a gymnastics studio - and AGG loves gymnastics. Plus, the two girls would be in kindergarten next year, so I thought we might as well get better acquainted.

We arrived at the studio 15 minutes late. My daughter refused to go on the mat with all the other kids. She started to panic. She then told me she didn't want to go out there because she didn't think the other kids liked her. I responded by telling her she wasn't giving them a chance to, by standing there. One of the kids, who was older, told my daughter she'd hold her hand, despite this my daughter still stayed in her shell. I asked my daughter if she wanted to leave. She didn't. But she didn't want to go out with the other kids either. This was odd for me because AGG is normally so outgoing, friendly and cheerful. I began to feel frustrated.

Finally the gymnastics instructor took my daughter by the hand and led her to the group. There my daughter stuck like glue to the teacher. It seemed like AGG started loosen up and move around - but then she burst into tears. I carried her off the mat. Eventually she rejoined the group during the cupcake, snack, gift time. She was the kid that helped the mother put the gifts in the bag after they'd been opened. When the instructor announced that she'd let all the kids go back on the mat with all the gymnastic equipment they all cheered in excitement. My daughter burst into tears.

Apparently, they were too loud for her.

I was, I am ashamed to say - mortified.

I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so unsympathetic. 

On the ride home - after she had gotten her goodie bag I thought about the day. I thought about how she acted so differently. I thought about how similar she was that day to the little girl I was. Then it hit me... I'm still not okay with that sad, little girl I was. I suddenly understood how true-to-life the way Willis acted towards his younger self was for me.

I have worked so hard at not being that quiet, shy, inept, self-conscious girl...but I've  forgotten to love the kid I was. Perhaps, my oldest daughter, who has so much of me in her - is my chance, when she has these 'bouts of shyness, it's my chance to empathize, and love the little girl I was.

Disneyland and California Adventure

*The videos of our trip are available on my private blog (cryingoverspiltmilk.blogspot.com)

Saturday, 10pm - hubby came upstairs to ask about him going to Anaheim for a SJ Sharks playoff game. I shrug. I decide he can. A half hour later I tell him he might as well take us all to Disneyland.

We decide at midnight that it is doable, after researching tix prices. I was up until 2am planning, making lists... because while the trip was spontaneous...I am still a planner.

Sunday, car ride down to LA after AGG had given her Sunday talk in Primary. We left around 4pm.

Monday, lunch at La Brea Bakery in Downtown Disney. Love their bread. I had their spicy chicken sandwich (YUM), Phantom had NY Steak Sandwich (which he loved), the girls split a grilled cheese and fruit plate. After filling our tummies we entered Disneyland. They are running a Two-fer for SoCal residents - so Phantom's best friend got us the tix. (SoCal residents can purchase 8 tix for people). We applied sunscreen - it was the perfect breezy, sunny day.



We hit main street, listened to the band, explored Aurora's castle. We had never seen that exhibit before. The girls were mesmerized and AGG screamed from surprise.



We happened to be in line for Peter Pan when my friend Amy showed up. So they joined us! After Peter Pan we did the merry-go-round and Dumbo.



After Dumbo we got in line for Small World and happened to have Amy's mom Linda catch up with us. They are even more stunning in person. They are each half my size. The girls had so much fun with Amy's girls.



After Small World we let the girls run around before we parted ways. Phantom wanted to take the girls to Star Tours. Unfortunately, DD is still too small (not 40" yet). Phantom took AGG and didn't think to tell her it was just a ride...not a real space ship. She was TERRIFIED. Thought she was really going to crash, bleed, crack... her words. Can you imagine? I felt so bad for her. She said she did not like the rocket, gravity ride. We also went on the car-ride thing in tomorrow land.



Then we hit the Jungle Cruise as our last ride before Phantom had to go to the SJ Sharks v. Mighty Ducks game. The Sharks were CRUSHED. I had a feeling that would happen - the SJ Sharks choke every playoff. On the car ride back to Phantom's best friend's home DD immediately fell asleep. AGG was up drawing for a bit. She drew Aurora touching the spinning wheel, and one of Prince Phillip waking her with a kiss.



Tuesday we went to California Adventure. Our first stop was Ariel's Grotto. Did you know they take reservations 60 days in advance? If you are planning to do a character meal - make a reservation in advance so you don't have to wait.



We were quite pleased with the Ariel's Grotto dining experience. The food was surprisingly good. I had the Cioppino. Loved it. Then the girls were able to have their own time with each princess. They were in awe. They are at this age where they totally think it is real. It is magical. If they were 10 or so - the magic of this age wouldn't be the same. It was cute to hear AGG point at each princess and tell her with unrestrained excitement "I HAVE YOUR MOVIE!" DD was so happy to see Jasmine. She couldn't stop peppering her with questions "Where's Aladdin?" "Where is the magic carpet?" "What is Rajah doing?" Jasmine was the sweetest - she took time to talk to both girls. Cinderella also took the girls to do a little dancing. It was magical watching the girls.


After the lunch we rushed over to Playhouse Disney. They do a show with Mickey Mouse Club, Handy Manny, Little Einsteins and My Friends Tigger and Pooh. The girls still love Little Einsteins. We happened to be in line when my friend Greek Goddess met up with us. Perfect timing.

The show was fun - they loved it. It's just 20 minutes so ... we wished it was longer. After that we headed to Monster's Inc. The girls love the movie and have fun hearing Roz say at the end "later Dudes". DD is a fan of saying "I'm watching you Wozowski, always watching".


From there we ran into Minnie Mouse, and headed off to A Bug's Life land. I need to let the girls watch this movie. They had fun on the rides suited just for them. I think we hit at least four rides there. After that we parted company with my lovely friend. We headed over to Soarin' Over California. It was the one ride I'd actually wanted to ride that was sort of adult-ish.

Unfortunately, DD was too short. It was also too late to do the baby swap. So Phantom and AGG were able to go with my hubby's best friend and wife. I'll have to go next time. It was really fun seeing how exhilarated my sweet AGG was after the ride. We'll have to wait for DD to reach 40" to go again.


We were able to head back over to Disneyland. We rode on Alice in Wonderland, Storybook land boat ride, Casey Junior train, and the Merry-go-round. Sitting on the merry-go-round, each of us on individual horses was just the perfect moment. It was the perfect way to end our trip. I was so happy and peaceful I felt like I couldn't contain anymore joy. Fun having a little family.


Then it was time to get some food. We headed to the Mexican place in downtown Disney. After dinner the girls danced a bit outside the restaurant, to the music playing, then again at the tram line. Then they were so cuddly cute with each other on the ride back to the car.

We thought they'd be dead asleep by the time we got back to Phantom's friend's place, but no...


Wednesday we headed back home. We stopped at Anderson's Pea Soup in Santa Nella per my fabulously sassy bike riding friend, Sally and Chuck's recommendation. Incidentally, this restaurant was featured in a show on E... the one with three blond ditzes and an old dude. (heh)



We made it home in time for me to make the girls some dinner, have my hubby throw them in the bath and then I was off to a Kindergarten Q&A session.

Needless to say... it was a fantastic trip - and an even better night's sleep in our own beds.

The End.

Happy Blog-aversary to me

I started blogging in May 4, 2005 after my friend Pam had been blogging. I loved the idea of chronicling my experiences as a new Mom for myself and for my new amazing daughter. Today I still keep up with my now private "Crying Over Spilt Milk" blog, and this public "Alone on the Mountain Top" blog...and a few others, not too often. It's fun. I like it.

Avant Garde Gal May 2005 (20 months old) always a happy girl -when the birth of "Crying Over Spilt Milk" started

I've kept the blogging up, for us. I've met some amazing people in the four years I've been blogging. I've never felt like stopping. I have a block sometimes, often, but have never thought about calling it quits. I think because I'm blogging for me, for my girls... for my family. I like it that way. If you happen to find something interesting or comfortable or crazy - that's the icing on the cake... that's what they say anyway...I'd rather have some gourmet chocolate, thank you very much.

Dauntless Daughter, Queen Scarlett, Phantom, Avant Garde Gal March 2009 -where we are now
Taken by Wendy Whitacre of Blue Lilly Photography

Get Thee to Disneyland

QS, Dauntless Daughter, Avant Garde Gal, Greek Goddess and her munchkins at Calif Adventure...in A Bug's Life land...

My friend the Greek Goddess has a great guide to Disneyland. We had a great time meeting up with her while we were there.

She has a lot of great tips... but the biggest - is THIS YEAR DISNEYLAND IS FREE ON YOUR BIRTHDAY... but YOU HAVE TO REGISTER HERE!!! GO DO IT NOW.

Oh...and Happy Birthday!

Cheers!

How arguments start in our home

I'm calling K, my four year old Avant Garde Gal. I'm calling my two year old M, Dauntless Daughter. My hubby will be known as Phantom.

I may change it... we'll see. I might just get tired of the abbrev... I'm steady like that.


Avant Garde Gal: Daddy, I want a brother.

Phantom: *silence*

AGG: I want a brother please.

Phantom: *silence*

AGG: I want a brother because I love brothers!

Dauntless Daughter: No!

AGG: YES, I need a brother!!!

DD: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

AGG: YES, I SAID YES!!!! *scream*

DD: *SCREAM* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*SCREAM*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *SCREAM*

Phantom: SILENCE FIENDS!

We're back from...Northern Mexico...er LA #swineflu

We did a spur of the moment trip. Sat evening my hubby told me he wanted to go to the SJ Sharks game in Anaheim. We decided we could do it. So Sunday after church we left for LA. Luckily they had the Twofer deal for SoCal residents. His friend got us tickets (SoCal residents can purchase up to 8tix). We had a great time. Exhausted - but fantastic.

More posting later.

A Purpose

I just finished teaching a Morningside message today at seminary.

I am back in my pajamas too. See. I am never up this early in the morning.


I'm on day three of a stiff neck (I think it was stress or sleeping funny - stress from watching Fringe right before bed. Maybe I am now part of the patter?) although it's more mobile than day one and day two. I don't know if it's allergies or a cold, but my voice is hoarser and I am tired.

Wanna know what I was talking about today? I addressed adversity, and knowing how powerful each of is, and knowing beforehand what we stand for.

I taught my husband's Sunday School class for kids in 7/8 grade. The lesson was about President John Taylor, third president/prophet of the Church. I used the questions I was was asked when I took a TMA class at BYU. "Do you know how powerful you are?" and "What do you stand for?"

President John Taylor was known for being a "defender of the faith" and a "champion of liberty". I love that. I love his experiences - his living boldly with faith.

That afternoon I received a call from Bonnie, our seminary principal. I've taught seminary before - when I first finished college and was working. I taught my sister the Old Testament. I am a crazy tired grumpy woman without sleep. I think I scared those kids sometimes. So when I heard her tell me she was the seminary principal, I mentally prepared the word NO in my head.

But then she had to pull the "President Norman suggested I contact you since our original speaker will not be in town". First, I love Pres Norman. He is one of the kindest men. Second, he is in our stake presidency, so I am a rules girl - I will go and do what is asked of me.

I don't remember having Morningside when I was in seminary. Apparently it's a fireside in the morning. They do it every month on the last Friday of seminary. After the original speaker, they tried getting President Norman and our Bishop to speak. So I was totally a back-back-back... picking at straws back-up. No pressure.

I was grateful my husband had been sick and needed me to sub for him on Sunday - it was like a run through for Friday. I added a lot of new things, but essentially the message was the same... try to inspire these amazing teens with the knowledge that they have a purpose, that they can overcome adversity and that they are extremely powerful.

I was also grateful that a couple days ago the BYU Magazine came. In it was an Q&A with Randy Bott, and old professor of mine...and anyone that took "Sharing the Gospel" at BYU. I had forgotten his four elements of a sacrament meeting talk. So this was perfect in organizing all my thoughts I hadn't yet nailed down on paper.

Yesterday my girls who never go down for a nap without a fight, were quiet in their rooms long enough for me to finish writing all my thoughts down. They didn't nap, but they were quiet. What a blessing.


Also I wanted bean bags. I called a few stores, none of which carried any. So I called the crafter queen Angela. She said she'd whip some up in 20 min. She did. It was awesome.

Then I realized I needed someone to watch my girls since my hubby goes to work when I was to start teaching. My wonderful friend Brooke had time, and was willing to cut her morning swim short.

My little business card handouts came out great too.



Funny how things work out.

Last night Bonnie called to ask me how I was. She then asked how to introduce me. I told her just my name and ward is fine. I'm a nobody...I like it like that. She suggested that she could mention I was recommended by Pres Norman... I said NO WAY. No pressure. I don't want to puff myself up...don't need it, don't want it. Let the kids learn about me from me.

I think it went okay. I hope the messages came across. I prayed before I went to teach. I am always nervous when I teach. Why? Because I hope that I am a good tool for my Savior. I want the kids to hear what He wants them to, what they need through me. I like to imagine I'm a hollow tube to let His messages flow through me. So I'm nervous because I hope I don't clog up along the way. (har)

It was a good experience for me. I remember how hard school was. How scary it could be. How it felt to be picked on, insecure and feeling alone. But I know how it is to overcome, to let it pass (har)... to look back and be grateful because adversity makes us stronger.

We have great teens in our stake. They are dealing with much more than I ever had to. I"m grateful for the gospel. I'm grateful for the chance to spend a whole week preoccupied with preparing a lesson. It was a nice spiritual place to be. I think the Lord knew I needed a concentrated dose. All my silly challenges this week served in reminding me about adversity. I felt like this week, was very purposeful. Things fell into place.

I apologize if this is at all jumpy... I am never up this early. I so need a nap. Also, how cool is MormonWiki?

Happy Thursday

Saw this first video "How To Make A Baby" on Design Mom's site... totally cracked me up.




This second one I remembered when I heard Torn on the radio last night. I used to listen to it over and over and over again... blasted as loud as possible in my car when I was at BYU. And yes, the windows were wide open. I like to think I was scaring all those folks when the word "naked" is used in the song. I was always trying to mess with prudes.