Monday, March 24, 2008


Yesterday, AW, one of my favorite teachers in RS taught. The subject, being Easter and all was on the Atonement.

One of my favorite parts of her lesson was when she talked about service. She talked about being honest about service. This is something that is near and dear to my heart. I'm big on doing things because my heart is in it. I find it aggravating to watch people grumble as they serve or feel upset as they're serving. What's the point? You make everyone unhappy?

So I loved when she said - if you look in your family cabinet and you only have 2 jugs of milk and you need that for your family - it's ok not to give it away. I was like - YES! I wish more people thought like that.

I've always been taught that our families come first. So that's how I have run mine. My little family comes first. For example - recently our RS pres sent out another email about helping a family of 10 move from their old house into a brand new, million dollar plus, custom home. The matriarch of that family and the RS pres wanted volunteers to go help her clean her brand new home. In fact - the email even said, for you with young children - trade babysitting so you can help move. The kids in the family are all older - Junior high on up. So... I was like - I don't see the point in inconveniencing a million people who have to adjust and figure out schedules when it'll cost 300.00 to hire cleaning people. I mean...really?! (channeling Seth Meyers, SNL)

So this is where I say - use your brain. We are taught to serve - it's a great thing...but we need to use our brains. Everyone's situation at a certain time is different. It's frustrating to hear people who don't have young kids counsel those of us with them - how we should rearrange our lives to help others - when frankly - we could use some damn help too. I mean REALLY!!!

That's why I made my comment during the lesson about guilt. I think I have the gift of not feeling guilt about running my household... I think too often we're made to feel guilty... that we ought to have a spic and span home, or do enriching activities 24/7, or be extremely dull to demonstrate our adherence to the gospel. (When... the truth be known - our general authorities tend to have some wicked humor.) I ...just don't care about that. I think the Lord knows we're in different seasons of our lives, even if other people who ought to know - don't. I think he's happy with our best efforts. We know when it is our best efforts. I also think that this pressure to be friends with everyone... is ridiculous. Our priority is our family. If people fit into that picture - fantastic. But if they aren't good influences, thoughtless and bothersome - we do not need to make the extra effort so that they feel good about themselves. It's not our job...and if they have issues - I say grow a pair. ;-)

I don't have time to waste on people who don't care for me. It's like the example of those crazy women who will do anything to stay with a guy who is really "not that into you." The women who get pregnant for the guy to stay, or the women who threaten suicide. I have never understood that kind of behavior. It embarrasses me. I want to slap these women and say "do you have any dignity?" Why would you want to be with someone who didn't care for you in that crazy, manic way you are demonstrating??? Really?! This is the same way I regard my relationships. Life is short - we have a finite amount of time. If it doesn't work out - fine, move on.

So maybe I have a little more irreverent view ...of the atonement. I like to think I'm realistic. I'm done with the BS...and the play-acting...and the need for attention in the reputation department. Who cares what anyone else thinks ...they are not important - the relationship between you and Lord is. Only His opinion matters. Other people can sit there and bicker and act jealous...and self-righteous if they want - if that's what they enjoy ... bon appetit. I don't know about you - but I'm too busy with my own life to care. Maybe that's why people like that are unhappy - they want so desperately to be considered. Which is why I nearly laughed when someone answered the question about having clean hands but an unclean heart. If you knew the person that answered that comment... you would understand the irony.

I am comfortable with my little family. I like them - I like making sure that what's first is first, and then moving down the line of priority. That's what makes sense to me.


AzĂșcar said...

Really? Huh. Really?
Yeah, I'm a big one these days for saying, "It is not my season."

La Yen said...

You think?
I am with you. I also am pretty much through with being offended and hurt by random people and, in turn, really tired of having to word every single thought so as not to offend the three people I know that are going to get offended no matter what. Maybe they can see that my actions tend to speak pretty loud, and my words don't intend to harm.

Queen Scarlett said...

az - I love my weekend update.

la yen - I've learned not to be offended/ much - still working on it. Instead I just get annoyed... I don't why, it just is annoying when people turn out to be idiots and you've wasted your time on helping them or whatever. Plus, it's like... a train wreck - I have to point it out and go...LOOK...look at these idiots. ;-)

I'm with you - I'm big on actions. I do service because I like to ...for certain people, I'm generous...and that's how I show I care. Not empty words. Too many people are just that - empty words.

People need to use their brains... seriously!

cabesh said...

I just....can't even begin.... I so feel the same--I'll let you know what I can do, and when I can do it, thanks. (And, why aren't those older kids cleaning the house?).

Seriously though, usually those who need (deserve) the help are the ones who won't ask--and the ones who perform true service.

Such RS challenges. I don't look forward to it (oh yeah, did I tell you I got called to be the RS pres 2 weeks ago. So much for "a season" :) ).

Queen Scarlett said...

cabesh - I agree with you. It seems it's always the same people all the time that "require" people to help them.

That's why I do extracurricular helping... you know...the stuff you don't sign up for at church. AND...I think it's better to do service unprompted...and NOT limit it to just those in our ward.

Good luck with that calling... there's nothing more frightening to me than getting called into the bishop's office for some "important" calling... I just don't want to deal with the people. ;-) BUT...I have a feeling they called a wise woman of character... what a lucky ward you live in. Knowing you...I know you're not crazy. ;-)

~j. said...

"...or be extremely dull to demonstrate our adherence to the gospel.

This is my new favorite. Thank you.