Friday, March 28, 2008

Visiting Teaching

Something people forget that we are all in seasons of our lives and sometimes... we needn't be so militant about it.

I sometimes believe we become like the Pharisees ... too preoccupied with the letter of the law, policies, numbers that we forget about the spirit of it. Or we forget that people need to take care of their families. It does no one any favors to have 100% visiting teaching if you're creating more strife at home because instead of taking care of or getting a chance to relax with your're too busy making sure everyone else is taken care of outside of the family...

beam v. mote eh?

So no more retarded comments about... how you can squeeze it into a young mother's life. How about a little support and understanding ...hell - weren't you there once? Didn't you wish someone would be a little more lenient and thoughtful/considerate? Or is that just me?

Truthfully - I don't think I've ever liked visiting teaching. We're assigned "friends" to come and visit to "act" interested in us each month? Really? Huh? Really? I have a really hard time acting interested in someone unless I really like that person. Is it easy for other people? I don't know. My best visiting teaching times were ones where they weren't formal meetings...and the women happened to be my friends outside of the mandatory obligations.


compulsive writer said...

I hate the numbers game. I remember one month when the RS pres announced our ward had 100% visiting teaching in a month I think both mine had left the country because I hadn't seen hide nor hair of them. So hearing the stats made me feel kind of badly..."you didn't bother to come and then you lied about it?"

But here's the thing. The fact that it isn't about the numbers is exactly why it's also not about "acting" interested. I'm sure the goal is learning to love the sisters we teach and actually being interested. (Some are certainly easier than others.)

My experience has been that when I can truly achieve that genuine caring it doesn't really matter whether or not I visit them every month (especially because there are times when it's stressful for them to make time for me). I check in with them at church. They know I love them. They know if they needed me I would be there.

So if I'm good with it in my heart and I know my sisters are good with it, then it doesn't really matter to me if someone is hounding me about the numbers. It's my stewardship and it's all good.

(Should I add a disclaimer here that I'm not, at the moment, currently good with it in my heart because I haven't visited the new girl on my route yet?)

compulsive writer said...

Was my comment longer than your post? I'm sorry.

La Yen said...

At our last visiting teaching conference (where I was the only sister who was not on the VT board or RS pres) they said that our job was to be friends with not only the sisters we VT but the sister who is our companion. That they would rather us spend the whole time chatting and being friendly than get the message to everyone.

And I took that to heart. And, as a result, I have three new friends. (And one sister I am kind of scared of still. Baby steps.)

I have always felt like I didn't need any visits because I am fine. But now I wish mine would come, just for the company. And to listen.

Amy said...

Ok... so here's where I bear my testimony of the VT program. No, seriously. I know it's a pain in the rumpus. To say the least.

Want me to tell you about the VT's who didn't acknowledge I had my first baby until two months later? My mom's infamous VT who leaves chocolate on the doorstep occasionally (if she'd ever talked with my mom for 2 minutes she would have learned that my mom does NOT like chocolate) and sometimes they are chocolate liqueurs (hehehe those make me laugh) Her one and only "ACTUAL" visit:she ran in for a "quick 5 minute visit"(her husband circled the car in the driveway)and spent 4 ( I kid you not) of those minutes on her cell phone talking to her dog's vet. Or how about that one inactive sister who I conveniently forgot to call most months?

I could go on. Heck...we all could. Seems like such a joke, right??

But it's not a joke. It's not only meant for certain sisters at certain times.

We might find different ways to work on it at different times.

The visiting teaching program IS for our benefit. The Lord wants to bless us and this is one of the opportunities He gives us to be blessed by Him.

This is getting the wheels turning....I feel a comment-overflow about to spill out onto my blog. Join me for more:

Queen Scarlett said...

Thanks for the comments.

CW- I wish vting was like that...good in the heart idea. That's what I prefer. But I've had routes where there is this one sister that is anal about visits every month. This was when my baby was little and it irked me to no end. Give each other a break.

La yen - you deserve some rockin' vters. I always get antsy when mine come to visit - I mean, they never bothered to talk to me before...and now they are interested because they are assigned. I feel like an obligation...and I am someone that shies away from putting people out. I think I've had one great visiting teacher... it was when I first moved here and had my first baby...course - she moved shortly thereafter.

Amy - I had a great companion ...and then the rs pres that has a wicked vendetta against me broke up our partnership even though we both told her we didn't want to mess up our routine we had down pat. Plus we had fun together. Right now not one bit of it gels - it always seems that when the campnionship doesn't gel - it seems like busy-work.

I know it's supposed to be inspired... but we're all still imperfect human beings...and I realize that not all of it...assignments etc are inspired...sometimes ...just like callings it's just to fill in the empty slot.