Want to know what's been roiling around in my head???
I don't crave going back to work. There was always so much internal politics that it totally turned me off. I like to be a part of a true team - and the nature of PR and any field is a bit cutthroat - you're always looking out for number one...and if you aren't - everyone else is. Loyalty comes in short supply.
Internal politics, disloyalty and taking credit that's not due - or not appreciating and recognizing people for their contributions - really peeves me.
I will have to say... the experience has kept me... wary. There are things that come up in social situations, various groups and organizations that require me to tap into that instinct when you know something is up. When you know there's a faction trying to uproot you, oust you - despite the work and effort you've put in... filled with ingratitude...the hairs on my neck stand to prickle.
I've always believed in knowing your value. Don't let anyone short-change you.
I had a manager who knew nothing - zilch about semiconductors. So they recruited me to fill that role at their agency. I brought over a friend of mine who was also brilliant. Together we worked to build a solid semiconductor, EDA and foundry clientele - and throughout that... she took all the credit, used our knowledge and pretty much did nothing, but create a very unhealthy work environment. (You should've seen how mortified we were when she'd bare her cleavage to a room full of EEs... let's just say...no one got much work done that day)
I vowed that with my team - I'd manage them such that they received the praise when they did the work. They got the credit for creativity and dedication. Why would you want to work with anyone who you couldn't trust to back you up? You want a leader who cheers your successes, and elevates you happily. Not one that is so insecure they stomp on you to make them a smidge taller.
That philosophy is still what I practice today. If I make something that's someone else's recipe - you better believe I talk them up. If I learned something from someone, heck yes, I tell people who taught me. I don't believe that life is a competition. I don't. I believe we're happier when we cheer for each other. When we're not jealous of each other, when we know our own worth, and that's enough for us. We don't need to be selfish in our admiration, gratitude and genuine, actionable praise for others. It doesn't diminish our worth to show that joy and energy for others. In fact, I think it makes us brighter.
I am motivated by an environment of trust, loyalty and genuine, actionable gratitude and teamwork. I don't operate on empty words. Why give your all - when your all is inconsequential, easily deleted ... why? Betrayal of any kind cuts so deeply to me that it's the end. The end of any desire to be involved.
And when that happens - you discover how ungrateful and deceptive people can be. And as wary as I am... I am also far too trusting and loyal... until it's ultimately, too late.
Maybe I'm not paranoid enough???