Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A Family Lives Here

Several weeks ago when I taught a Morningside for Seminary I was lucky to have my friend Brooke watch my girls while they continued to sleep blissfully.

I came home from the Morningside and immediately apologized to her for the state of my home, it wasn't as spic and span as I would've liked, but Brooke stopped me.

A little about my friend Brooke. She is incredibly smart. She is artistic, quirky, funny and she always makes me laugh. She married much later than typical BYU-UT Mormon women do. Her husband is a bit older and so they do not have any children of their own. She is however, a mother to all her nieces, nephews and the people she meets.

When she stopped me from my apologies - she said that she used my bathroom while I was way. As she passed by our laundry room to the bathroom she saw all the big people and little people shoes mixed in a massive, messy, pile. I just about started to apologize again, but she said, "I love it!"

Brooke told me she loved seeing that a family lived in our home. She talked about how when she and her twin sister used to watch kids for their friends, one of her girlfriends said "I am not going to apologize for being a family" in reference to the state of her home (toys, shoes, odds and ends, constant battle with school papers and wrappers, etc.).

I was so touched I could feel the tear ducts start up. I took Brooke's message to heart. After she left, I went and took a picture of our mountainous pile of shoes. I had never, ever looked at my home the way Brooke had. I am so grateful for her perspective - it demonstrates how I need to remember to be grateful, even for the never-ending messes, because - a family lives here.


Greek Goddess said...

Thank you dear friend. I am crying now. I just got off the phone with Warren and I was saying to him: how do all these things constantly end up on the floor? It feels impossible to keep anything clean. I'm so tired of it sometimes.
It's one of those "I'm looking for my courage days." Thanks for helping.

Queen Scarlett said...

Greek Goddess - I wish I could give you a hug and then lend you a hand. Not that my house isn't a total wreck right now either...but you're that kind of a friend. ;-) LOVE YOU. Wish we could be neighbors.

I've had plenty of breakdowns over the mess that is never-ending... I'm not fond of being Sisyphus... not fun. But... am learning to be patient...or a little more patient. ;-) NOT easy for me.

I am also lucky that after a breakdown...or during...and my hubby happens to be home - he does a massive cleaning for me. I am blessed - and I need to remember... I just have the crappiest memory known to man. ;-)

cabesh said...

I love this post! I think most moms are down to earth about this, but think that everyone else's house is spotless. I have a friend who says she doesn't trust people with super clean houses that have kids--are the ignoring their children, or do they just not let then to anything?
My mom used to say, "I can have a spotless house or I can make memories for my kids." She chose for us to have memories of library trips, crafts, reading books, swimming and picnics. Good choice I think. :)

Queen Scarlett said...

Cabesh - I think for me - I want to be at a certain place... I set high expectations for myself and need to realize I need to chill... so I am working on it. ;-) hehe

By the way - I found the Ensign we were in with Kristina... May '97 page 89 - do you remember our Conf trip? That brought back memories - well, some - I have pretty poor recollection... but I remember riding the bus and walking a lot. ;-)