Sunday, October 26, 2008

The same old arguments

I keep seeing and hearing these same arguments made by the opposition to PROP 8. It is tiring responding to each one. So I figured I'd just add this to my blog here and be done with it. It's exhausting when the sky is blue but someone insists it is brown. There really isn't a point of having a real discussion when someone has decided to not even open their minds to a broader perspective, instead of their tunnel vision.

Are there valid concerns on either side? Yes. But does that mean we rush to a solution that could turn the world upside down? No. There are bright minds in the world - we must have a better solution than what the same-sex advocates are shouting.

Below are arguments I hear all the time.


Marriage is not a right. It is a privilege. Just like driving is not a right - it's a privilege. There are requirements, tests and privileges.

To say that not allowing same-sex marriage means we should outlaw divorces is grasping at straws. The people who say this aren't honest enough to admit that there is an ideal. The ideal is a loving father and mother who will raise children within that bond. Are there exceptions - YES - but that never means you must lower standards to accommodate every exception and iteration. Instead of saying "well at least it's better than..." we should be comparing ourselves to a higher, better standard, not lowering society’s standards.

Fact is that same-sex marriage is not equal to heterosexual marriage. It is not. No matter how you slice it, it's not equal. It never will be biologically.

Fact is that biologically homosexuality is not normal. It affects 2% of the population. Hijacking marriage doesn't make it normal. No matter how much forced acceptance or advocacy there is - it is never going to be normal. It happens, just like other things that affect people... but screaming about acceptance doesn't make it normal.

Same-sex marriage can't be compared to interracial marriage because they are not equal. Interracial marriage isn't about anatomy. They are completely different.

Same-sex marriage shouldn't be compared to civil rights. Homosexual partnerships already receive all the legal rights as heterosexual partnerships. It is also highly insensitive to those that lived and died during the real civil rights battles.

To deny that children benefit from and would be casualties of approving same-sex marriage is selfish at very least and offensive at best. Children have everything to gain within a loving heterosexual relationship. When society doesn't hold up marriage as an ideal, then children have everything to lose. Does divorce happen in the real-world? Yes. Is single-parenting difficult? Most definitely... but that doesn't mean we throw the baby out with the bath water.

To say that in California children won't be taught that same-sex marriage is equal to same-sex marriage is a blatant lie. In California over 90% of schools are required to teach about sex education. Those schools are required to also teach and talk about marriage. If same-sex marriage is legal in California then same-sex marriage must also be given equal billing. Just say it isn't so - doesn't make it true. Especially with the field trip to an SF same-sex wedding and the recent "coming out day" in Hayward. What is troubling is that the same groups, like the ACLU are saying that same-sex marriage won't be taught in school and calling YES on 8 supporters liars; this same group, along with others are in Massachusetts making sure parents do NOT have the right to remove their children from school when same-sex marriage is being taught.

To hear people say, that if you don't like same-sex marriage you can just remove your child from school is simplistic. When it comes to same-sex marriage - it's a belief system for the majority of people in this country. To say that each parent has the means to put their child in private school or home school is also simplistic and unrealistic. To say that "if you don't like it, then don't do it" is laughable. That's like saying, "you don't like crime, don't do it." Society doesn't survive without rules and agreed upon values to allow all citizens to live peaceably. To constantly say that it doesn't affect children is a way to fool us into thinking that if we say it enough, it will be true. The folks promoting this argument assume that we can't think beyond the present to view the possible future effects.

There is a better way to handle the validation that same-sex groups, desire. However, reverse discrimination is never the prudent choice to follow. Limiting free speech, freedom of religion and molding public education are the wrong methods to the validation they want. Rash decisions, with the aim of feeling good about oneself, are short-sighted and dangerous. We are not a society of just individuals. We must remember we all belong to society; we must do what is best for society, for the greatest amount of people. We've already made allowances to protect the 2%, who have all the legal rights as the majority.

Prop 8 deserves a YES vote to preserve not only marriage between one man and one woman - it is a clear statement that we will not give up our right to freedom of speech, religion and that our children are more important than our own selfish desires.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Thank you, thank you, and thank you!