Weary

I'm feeling weary.

Another couple facebook "friends" have decided they need to attack my opinions and beliefs. It's frustrating. I suppose facebook creates this weird world... I need to stop thinking that just because I hold their feelings in high esteem - that doesn't mean they feel the same way. I've always forgotten that not everyone thinks the way I do - it always gets me ... down in the dumps disappinted.

I don't understand. Why is it that I am not allowed to have my own opinion? Why is it only "liberals" are allowed to? Why is it that the only ones that choose to respond to articles I post to my own wall on facebook - are folks who know they can't change my mind? So what is the point? I don't go to their spaces to rant and rave my opinions on their walls. I understand they don't feel the same - so I don't. I don't because it's respectful. I accept them for their beliefs - why can't they accept me for mine?

It's like all the commenting I do on YouTube videos. I comment on YES on Prop 8 ones. The ones I agree with. I don't go actively in search of a fight on the no on prop 8 ones. It's like those folks with signs on their lawns. The YES on Prop 8 camp don't actively go around stealing, defacing and assaulting folks that don't agree. Then why does the no on 8 campaign do that?

It seems the ones that hate free speech the most - are the ones that only allow it - if you agree with them. There is no room for dissent. These are the same people that cheer each other on when they break laws - defacing property, illegally stealing signs. Is this supposed to foster more tolerance and kindness, or revulsion?

I'm weary because I would jump to defend any of my so-called "friends" if they were bombarded with attacks. But it seems ... I appropriately named my blog... I'm alone on this.

It would be so much easier for me to be silent. So easy to not offfend one party or another. But I've never been a fan of wishy-washy, fence-sitting, silently offending no one. I don't want to be someone you can't trust. I want to be someone you know squarely where I stand. Trust me, if I didn't have to... I wouldn't raise my voice - but I realize that the situation is dire, it is serious and we only have this chance to get it right. It's not fun placing a big star on your head. It has nothing to do with bravery... I've always got my stomach in knots - because who likes to be singled out and attacked? Who likes to be the "freak" that speaks up?

I'm tired of folks saying that I should support same-sex marriage because it's akin to interacial marriage. This is pattently false - from a gospel point of view. From a gospel point of view homosexuality is immoral. Interacial marriage is not. There I go - being totally un-PC. But I care more about what God thinks than keeping my mouth shut. I think many members of the Church have forgotten this. We have slowly, slid down that slippery slope. We have forgotten who we are.

I'm tired of labels of bigot and homophobe - slapping inflammatory labels on people demonstrates an unwillingness, inability to foster open, honest, heartfelt communication. It shows that people who do this don't care what you have to say - they just don't want you to say it. Frankly, I'm tired of it. It's old. It's something that doesn't take into account that you may not agree with someone - but that doesn't make them evil. We're all people. I may not agree with someone - but that doesn't make them evil. That kind of characterization is childish at best.

I'm tired of people using the argument - "how can Mormon's support Prop 8 - the evangelicals support it and they hate you". So... my actions are dictated by how people think of me? I suppose much of our society and folks... that's how they determine whether they will or won't act on truth. But that doesn't work for me. I believe in a Prophet - I believe in God... marriage wasn't created by goverments... that's not what I believe. The Church is not sending out an edict - God has. The Church is merely protecting, defending what God has already made whole.

This is not just a California issue... it's a national issue. It will hit every state, every home if it doesn't suceed. So... do you want to battle it out now - making sure the fight doesn't come to your door - or do you want to wait until you have to deal with it on your doorstep, in your living room. Trust me... no matter how conservative you think your state is... it's coming.

I'm weary. But I'll keep doing what I'm doing - because we each have to carry torches of light - we can't afford to let it drop thinking someone else will carry it... chances are - you are the last one...and no one will be there to lift it up.

Just one foot in front of another...